#she meets up with mai (who she hasn’t seen in a long time) and very casually almost off-handedly confesses

[tragedykery]

this may feel sacrilegious coming from tuser maileesque but sometimes. I think about maizula

[randomgurl2326]

Adam Relationship Headcannons

SFW

You two met after the whole Lilith and Eve debacle

You were sent to be his Guardian Angel down in the Garden of Eden. Honestly, he couldn’t care less about Eve when he first saw you

He was in the middle of the garden, talking to Eve and then you show up… man’s whipped. Simp I tell you

(Actually wished that you were made to be his wife instead of the baddie Lilith or the goodie-two-shoes Eve)

Again. Whipped.

Now, tho is guy… whewww. He may seem incredibly misogynistic to practically everyone around him. But he can be a total sweetheart

He would—if you didn’t know how to already—teach you how to shred on the guitar

Speaking of guitars, that gold strat that he had during the battle in the last episode is only used during a special occasion (case and point, when you two have a date night or after sex)

He also serenades you every chance he gets

After dinner

After a meeting

After sex

After just walking the goddamn promenade

I also think he would be heavenly (ha! See what i did there? No? Okay…) in the kitchen. Especially for date night. Adam knows how to make the best prime rib in heaven

(Lute totally hasn’t tried to blackmail the recipe out of him)

Adam is also very insecure about how he looks under his mask

Especially after having two wives ditch him for Lucifer

He definitely needs to be praised on a daily basis, even if it seems like he’s an egotistical asshole

Every day you tell him how handsome he is and he doesn’t believe you (c’mon have you seen him fuckin’ hot)

You two sometimes don’t see each other days on end because you both work so much. You being a high-ranking Angel/seraphim and him being well… the first man on Earth

If you guys go especially long for not seeing each other, you guys hole up a few days in your shared home spending time with each other among other things…

By the way, you and Lute are best friends, probably more than her and Adam

Like, seriously, if you’re not with him, you’re with her. Gossiping or fucking around, it’s heaven, there’s infinite things to do

You two are also very lovey dovey with each other

One time Sera had cover Emily’s eyes with her wings because you two were making out and feeling each other up in the middle of the Heavenly Court Room

Despite all of his faults, he’s a good husband to you, a great one actually. And if you two were to ever have kids, he’d definitely be the dad who everyone loves

He would introduce them to rock, punk, metal.

Definitely plays his guitar to get them to sleep every night

NSFW

Okay… he want lying about being the Dick Master. He can pleasure women, that is not a problem for him

Also, it might not seem like it, but he loves going down on you. Probably one of his favorite pass times actually

I swear, this man could make you scream his name within minutes. No joke

Don’t get me wrong, he loves receiving head

But just not as much as he loves eating pussy (Lilith and Eve missed out on that one for sure)

He also has a bigger dick than average

Probably 6-7.5 inches in length and hella girthy. Uncircumcised (duh), and a vein that runs up the bottom of it

Definitely knows how to use it

Every one within a five mile radius of your guys’ house… let’s just say I feel really bad for them

No joke, he is insane about pleasuring you

This probably also feeds into his insecurity about you leaving him (you won’t)

He for sure has a praise kink. Seriously, tell him he’s a good boy and he’s unraveling under your touch instantly

His favorite position is cowgirl (what can he say, he loves powerful women)

But he’s down for whatever position you want; missionary, warrior, against a wall, whatever

Speaking of wall sex, Lute has definitely caught you two more than once

The first time she did was when you two were in Adam’s office while he was supposed to be planning the next extermination. She came to ask him a question about it and there you two were. Goin’ at it like rabbits on the wall next to his desk

She couldn’t look you guys in the eye for three weeks. It was terrible

Adam also doesn’t seem like the type of guy to have sex toys or feel the need to use them

But, again, he’s whipped. So he’s willing to do whatever you want to do

Wont admit this to anyone but you, but he likes to sub every once in a while. Especially with all the ‘first man’ stuff weighing down on him he needs a way to get away from all that stress

Despite him making crude jokes about sex, he’s a very giving partner in bed

He had to make sure you cum at least twice before he gets his dick wet

Also, have I mentioned how good he is at eating pussy? Oh, I have? Yeah, well, he is (especially with that tiny bit of stubble on his chin… gahhh)

Just needed to get it out there

All in all, Adam is a very giving person in bed, can be selfish at times but will make up for it. He loves you too much for you to feel mad or upset (especially with him)

A/N: this was my first time writing for Adam and Hazbin in general. I hope you liked it. I love you all💚💜

[ghostofwriting]

Arranged

Arranged

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: allusions to sex, cheating,

Note: just something I had rattling around in my brain for the longest time.

Word Count: 2,215

No one warned her. She likes to pride herself on not being a complete idiot so how did she not see this coming? The hints were all there. 

Her father is one of the richest men on Kildare Island so naturally, ever since her birth, she has been told that she would marry a just as wealthy if not wealthier man. There was no room for her to experience real love. It was a waste of time as she wouldn’t get to choose who she dated or even married. 

Everything was arranged for her. Her dad would find an eligible suitor and she would marry him. 

She was fine with this. Of course she was, it was all she had ever known. 

She would be marrying Rafe Cameron. 

Her father had called her down to his study and broken the news to her right then and there. She had heard his name, seen him around at all the high-class events their families attended but she had never exchanged one word with him. 

Once the initial shock of finding out she’s getting married in less than a year wears off, she runs to her room where her best friend is reading a book on her bed. 

“It’s Rafe.” Her best friend jumps up and squeals. 

“No way!” She grabs her phone and looks him up immediately. Not knowing what she’s looking for, she’s sure that he won’t post his wedding announcement to someone he hasn’t even had a conversation with. 

“There’s this girl all over his feed.” She takes the phone from her friend and scrolls, pausing to look at one picture in particular where he’s giving the girl a piggyback.

“That’s his best friend, they’ve known each other since they were three, and their moms are best friends.”

She scrolls some more and blushes, seeing pictures of him shirtless at the beach. He’s attractive. He’s probably one of the most desirable men on the island. He’s never seen around with anyone though, and doesn’t take any of the ladies up on their offers. 

She would be okay with this. Not only because she has no choice but because it’s Rafe Cameron.

They meet on a Sunday afternoon, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and it couldn’t be more perfect. Except that the girl from his Instagram is here. Before his father steps in, they’re whispering to each other in the furthest corner away from her and her father. Her hand is on his bicep and he holds her like he’s afraid she’ll float away. 

“Thank you for coming,” Ward says walking into the room, extending a hand for her father and then her. 

“It is our pleasure.” Her father says. 

“Rafe, don’t be rude, come greet our guests.” Rafe hesitates but the girl nods, stepping away from him.  

Ward gives the girl a look and a half smile.

 “you may go.” Rafe looks at his father and then at the girl shaking his head. 

“Dad-” Ward puts up a hand to stop him. 

“Let y/n go and say hi to Sofia, she’ll be your future wife after all.”

The girl, y/n, Ward had called her, leaves the room and she can see how tense Rafe becomes. 

Sofia should have known. 

===

They start dating, or the courting process. He takes her to fancy restaurants, clubs, events, and theaters, but they are never alone. It's like he’s trying to avoid talking to her for too long. He’s always busy at work or having to travel. She hadn’t had a moment alone with him since their first meeting when both their fathers gave them some time to talk and even then Rafe kept checking his phone.

She thinks she could love him. He’s very kind, he thinks of her when he goes to get himself a drink, he brings her back presents from his travels, and introduces her as his girl to all his friends. 

All of them except for one. 

When she met Topper she was introduced as his girl, it was a casual party, with no real formalities. Topper had given him a strange look that she only noticed because she was directly looking at him. If she hadn’t she would have missed it because it was gone in a second.  

“Nice to meet you Sofia, welcome to his life. I’m excited to see where it goes.” She finds his words weird but she lets it go, smiling at him. 

“Likewise.”

When she met Sarah she was with John B and JJ. Rafe introduced her as his girlfriend, Sarah had a tight-lipped smile and JJ had tried to elbow John B discreetly but John B’s reaction had given him away. 

“Nice to meet all of you.” Sofia said.

“You too!” Sarah chimed in. 

“You should come around the house some time and meet the rest of the gang.” John B extends the invite to her, Rafe clears his throat and Sarah stiffens. She’s about to nod in approval when JJ’s voice breaks through the awkward silence John B’s words had created. 

“That’s not a good idea.” Her eyes snap to JJ. He’s not looking at her, his face is stoic and he’s looking at Rafe. She looks up at Rafe and he’s looking at JJ, head nodding. 

“Yeah, I’m sure you could meet them somewhere else.” The atmosphere is charged with something she doesn’t recognize. 

“Hey, will you give me a moment?” Rafe asks her, shuffling her over to the drinks table. 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll find Melanie and text you where I am.” He gives her a small smile and nods. 

“Is she here?” She hears him ask one of the three pogues as she walks away. Sarah is the one who responds. She hears her say something about the second floor and when she turns around to see Rafe’s reaction, he’s already walking in the direction of the stairs. 

He never comes to find her. 

He doesn’t introduce her to the girl until a month after they start dating. 

She gets introduced to her as Sofia. Not his girl, not his girlfriend. Just Sofia. Hey, this is Sofia. 

The girl introduces herself and she is so sickeningly sweet that Sofia feels they could be best friends too. 

She takes her hand and walks her around Tannyhill, showing her all the things that there are to do. She shows her where they keep the best snacks, where the movie room is, and where not to go and leads her up to Rafe’s room. She’s been in Rafe’s room before, he’s her boyfriend. The way that y/n walks in, it’s like she lives there. She’s so comfortable, going through all his stuff, showing her where he keeps anything she may need. She opens up a drawer and tells her that those things are hers but she should feel free to use them. 

She doesn’t think anything of it. They’re best friends, they have known each other since they were kids. Of course, she has things she keeps at his house. In his room. 

Rafe’s mother is home for once. She walks by his room and spots them. 

“Oh, my sweet angel!” She waltzes over to y/n and grabs her face in between her hands. “How I have missed you. You haven’t been around much, why is that?” She looks to Rafe and then back to the face, she’s holding. She gives Sofia a side glance. 

“I see, well. You are welcome anytime. And I have spoken to Ward about the situa-” She gets cut off by y/n and Rafe.

“It’s okay.” y/n says. 

“You did?” Rafe says with more urgency, walking up to his mom. 

“I have sweet boy. And I will keep trying.” Rafe mumbles a small thank you, she sees his hand hovering over y/n, like he wants to touch her but he pulls back, clearing his throat and looking at her like he just remembered she was there too. 

She doesn’t know what situation they are talking about and before she can gather the courage to ask, his mother is gone and y/n is saying something about getting food with Sarah and Louisa. 

“Your whole family loves her very much don’t they?” she asks Rafe, sitting at the edge of his bed. 

He longingly looks to where his best friend once was, sighing, “yeah.”

===

She’s at Tannyhill again for dinner this time. There are a few more people than usual. A few people she’s never met, one being Barry, and a few other of Rafe’s friends. 

She’s been mingling with all the guests, making her rounds as the new heiress of her father’s company and she’s exhausted. She walks into the study for a few minutes alone. She doesn’t fully close the door in case someone needs her, she can hear them call. 

She’s looking at all of Ward’s trinkets when she hears voices outside the study, whispers. 

“What do you think of her?” Topper, she thinks.

“She’s no Missus Country Club that’s for sure.” She doesn’t recognize the voice. 

“No one is ever going to be her. He's crazy for letting this go on. If I had what they had and someone was threatening it I would grab her and leave the country.” Topper adds. 

They aren’t mentioning names so she’s confused. So curious to know who they are talking about. 

“She’s a nice girl. I just hate that so many people are being hurt because of this.” Sarah. 

“Rafe is going to lose his mind when he finds out.” She thinks this must be Kelce. Recognizes him from phone calls with Rafe.

“I don’t blame her, if I were in her shoes, I couldn’t stand by and watch as the love of my life got married to someone else.” Who’s getting married? 

“Has anyone talked to her?” There’s silence. 

“My mom is trying to fight this so hard with my dad but he just won’t let up.”

“Your dad is such an asshole.” the voice she doesn’t recognize again. 

“Tell me about it. It’s the way he’s pretending everything is okay too? Like he doesn’t see him falling apart or having panic attacks.” Is Rafe having panic attacks? He’s been fine with her. He must be overworked. Her dad had told her it was a really busy season. 

“Bet it doesn’t help that she’s ignoring him.” She wants to scream ‘who!’ Who are they talking about? 

“Hey, we should go.” A new voice pops in, John B. 

“We’ll see you at the party later?” Topper asks, and she assumes the question is directed at Sarah and John B. 

“I wouldn’t want to miss the big blowout.” It must be Barry if he’s leaving with John B and Sarah. 

She waits a few minutes before leaving the study. She sees Rafe talking to his mother and Louisa who glares at her when they make eye contact. She smiles at her but Louisa stomps off. Rafe looks from his mother to his sister before following after her.

“This place is loaded. I can’t believe you’re marrying into this.” Melanie comes up beside her. 

“Do you think something weird is going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a lot of whispering, things being said without being said.”

“I think you’re just nervous and trying to find a way out of it.”

“There’s no way out of it even if I wanted one.” Melanie’s smile fades. 

“You really like him huh?” she nods 

“He’s everything I have dreamed of. This union will set both of us up forever. It is just what we need.”

“And he’s good in bed?” her friend jokes making her blush

“We haven’t.” Melanie frowns

“What do you mean you haven’t? The Rafe Cameron hasn’t fucked you yet?”

“Melanie!” She gasps

“Oh I’m sorry, you’ve been dating for more than a month. Is he waiting for the wedding night?”

“We’ve barely even kissed.”

“That’s concerning. A 20 year old isn’t trying to get his dick wet?”

“How are we friends?” She says, putting her face in her hands. 

“I’m the one that keeps you sane.”

===

Rafe takes her to Topper’s party after dinner. 

Everyone is there. His friends, her friends, and some tourons. 

The first thing she notices is y/n, who hasn’t been around for a while hanging off some guy’s neck. Her chest pressed up against his as he kissed her neck.

She spots Melanie and drags Rafe who has gone eerily quiet next to her. 

“Finally, I was starting to think you weren’t coming.” She grabs the drink that Melanie offers her and looks up at her boyfriend. He’s looking in the direction where they had come from, his ears red. He probably wanted to say hi to his friends and she didn’t let him. 

“Oh sorry, baby, go and say hi to everyone. I’ll be right here.”

He doesn’t say a word, just marches off. 

When he’s been gone for over thirty minutes, she goes and looks for him. 

“Have you seen Rafe?” She asks some random. The person points to the upstairs area and she makes her way. 

She comes up to Topper’s room and pauses. She has a weird feeling. Before she can open the door it flies open and she comes face to face with a tear streaked y/n. 

y/n tries to fix herself up and puts a fake smile on her face. She sees Rafe get up and make his way into the bathroom.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’ve gotta go.” She says moving past her and down the hall. 

“Rafe?” She calls for him, following where she had seen him go. The water that was running turned off. 

“Are you okay?” she parrots her earlier words. 

“Yeah.” He looks like he’s been crying too.  

“What’s wrong?” He moves around her and into Topper’s room. 

“Nothing.”

“Rafe, I can see you’ve been crying, wh-”

“Sofia. Drop it okay?” He grabs his jacket off Topper’s bed and goes to leave.

“Do you want to stay? I’m going home.” She follows him in a hurry, her legs barely keeping up with his long strides. 

“I’ll come with you.” She says finally catching him and looping her arm with his. 

“Fuck this.” Rafe says under his breath. y/n’s sitting on the guy’s lap. As if she hadn’t just been crying. 

She wants to press him more on what happened but he’s angry now and she doesn’t want to make it worse.”

When they get back to Tannyhill, Rafe is a little more handsy. More than he has ever been. He walks her to his room and pushes her down on his bed. 

“Do you want to?” He asks her. She nods eagerly. She does. She likes him so much. 

===

Everything’s normal for a few days. She’s dealing with her father’s company, going to school, she’s busy. Rafe hasn’t come around in a little bit so she decides to drop by Tannyhill unannounced. 

One of the maids lets her in and tells her that no one is home. She decides she’ll wait in Rafe’s room. His door is shut when she gets up there. His door is never closed when he isn’t home. She knocks but doesn’t hear anything so she walks in. When she does, she hears the shower running. There’s a lot of movement, she can hear something fall.

She tries the bathroom door but it’s locked. 

“Rafe?” The movement stops and everything goes silent. 

“Hey! I’ll be right out.” He sounds out of breath. 

“Can I join you?” She asks, they were only together that one time and she’s hoping for a repeat sometime soon. 

“I have to be somewhere in 10 I can’t. Just wait for me downstairs.” He’s been very busy too. He’s probably freshening up from golfing.

“Okay, see you in a bit.” 

She’s waiting for exactly 15 minutes before he comes downstairs. 

“There you are.” He’s flushed, probably from the rush of having to leave. 

She gets up and hugs him. The front door slams and he flinches. 

“What was that?”

“Probably one of the maids. Let’s get out of here, yeah?”

“Didn’t you have a meeting?”

“I’m already late, so I’ll them something came up and we can grab some food?” She likes that she does these things for her. 

“Let’s go.”

===

“It’s not easy for me either Rafe! It hurts.”

She’s on Rafe’s balcony, and she can’t see them but she hears them, they’re downstairs, underneath her. 

“I know. I know it does but if you could just wait.”

“For what? A miracle? No. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much.”

“You said you would never leave me, we knew this would happen and you promised.”

“It’s so much harder living through it than I thought it could ever be.” Her voice is shaky. 

“I’m sorry. Please just tell me what to do.”

“There’s nothing to do. This is it.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I have to go. 

“y/n.” He calls after her a few more times and then goes silent. 

The door opens a little while later, Ward announcing his arrival and another screaming match ensues when Rafe corners him. She can’t hear what it’s about but Rafe sounds desperate. 

Ward says something about contracts and his hands being tied and wishing he had said something sooner. Rafe yells back about his mom trying to get him out of it and Ward not listening. She hears Ward apologize and tells him that something is over. To let go and that he has bigger responsibilities now. 

Rafe storms out of the house and doesn’t come back that night or the next. 

==

She hears from Melanie that y/n’s gone. That must have been what Rafe and her were fighting about. Her friendship is very important to him and he didn’t want her to leave. 

She tells Melanie about the blowout and about Rafe being MIA. 

“Maybe the whispers do mean something.” She says. 

“What do you mean?” She asks her friend. 

“Rafe and y/n.” She looks at Melanie, confused.

“Sof, come on.”

“No. Rafe would never. They’re just friends. She’s gone now anyway so what does it matter?”

“You were always trained for this weren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Nevermind.” 

==

Rafe comes back after two days away but it’s not the same. His mother and Sarah are worried about him. He won’t leave his bed let alone his room. They have tried getting him to see doctors, but nothing seems to be working. Sofia even tries talking to him but gets nothing out of him. He just tells her to go away and leave him alone. 

A week goes by and she sees him out and about again. To anyone else, he looks normal. To her, he looks crazy. His pupils are blown, and his hair is messy and unkempt. Nothing like the Rafe she met. He was always so put together, and right now he looks like he could burst into tears at any moment.

They go back to his house and she lets him seek comfort in the only way he’ll accept it from her. When she wakes up he’s gone. 

===

Sarah calls her asking if she knows where he is. She tells her that no and that’s when Sarah tells her that they haven’t seen him in a week. They are scared and worried for him because he’s been doing drugs. Cocaine. 

She had never known Rafe to do any of that. He was always very proper, never stepping out of line. Sarah asked her to keep her posted. 

Her mother called her later that day, telling her to get to the hospital immediately. Rafe had been in an accident. 

She’s the last one to get there. His family, his friends, they are all there. Except for one. 

She walks in and a hysterical Sarah is being held back by John B. 

“This is your fault! You are so selfish all you care about is money! Look at where he is now Dad! If he dies it is on you!”

Dies? Rafe’s mother looks at her and walks over. 

“He’s unconscious, they had to pump his stomach. He overdosed.” Sofia can tell she’s trying to be strong but the tears in her eyes keep coming. 

“Why? How?” her words go unheard as the doctor walks into the waiting room. 

“You can go see him now. Immediate family only.” Sarah is the first one to go, followed by her mother and father. Louisa hangs back, looking at her. 

“You did this.” She spits at her, running after her family. 

She’s so confused, so stressed out and she just wants to know how her boyfriend got himself in this situation. 

Everyone falls quiet. 

“You aren’t the cause of this. You’re just another pawn.” Kiara speaks up, not looking up from where her hands are, tangled with JJ’s.

===

Later when everyone vacated the waiting room after hearing word that Rafe would be okay, she walked towards his room. Coming to a stop when she hears Ward’s voice. 

“I’m so sorry son. This is all my fault. I am so sorry.” Ward is speaking through tears. 

“I’m going to fix this, I’ll put an end to everything and you’ll be okay. You’ll be happy again. I promise.” An end to what? Why was Rafe sad?

“Did you call her?” Rafe’s voice comes out weak. 

“I did. She’s on her way home.” who? y/n? Why does Rafe want her?

“Thank you, dad.” 

“I’ll be better.”

===

She doesn’t get to visit him at the hospital. He didn’t want to see anyone. She hears from her mother that he’s finally out of the hospital and she jumps out of her bed, quickly changing. 

When she walks into Tannyhill, there are flowers, gift baskets, and balloons all with ‘get well soon’ messages littered across the tables and desks. 

“He’s just in his room miss.”

“Thank you.”

She hears laughter coming from his room, a girl. She knows that laugh even though the last time she heard that voice it was screaming at her boyfriend. 

She opens the door shyly and both their heads turn to her. y/n is sitting on the bed next to him, his head is on her shoulder as she scrolls through her phone. 

“Hi.” Rafe looks at Sofia and then the girl next to him, having a silent conversation in between them.

“I’ll be in Sarah’s room.” She hops out of his bed and through the doors, not without a small but sad smile directed at her. 

“We need to talk.” He says sitting up.

“Okay.”

“My dad is going to put an end to this arrangement. We don’t have to pretend anymore.”

“I wasn’t pretending.”

“Look, Sofia. I’m sorry that you were put through this. I wish I could have convinced him earlier before you got dragged into this.”

“Convinced him of what?”

“To let me marry y/n.” He’s so blunt about it,  like it’s obvious like she’s stupid for not knowing. 

“What?”

“y/n’s my girlfriend, Sof.” Her mouth drops in shock. 

“But you and I, we-” She’s at a loss for words.

“Yeah we took a break, she couldn’t do it.”

“Couldn’t do what? Cheat?”

“I didn’t cheat on her.”

“Not on her. On me.” She snaps back at him.

“None of that was real. This was an arrangement.”

“It was real to me, Rafe! You took me on dates and you slept with me! You told me we were getting married.”

“y/n had broken up with me, I wasn’t in a good headspace.”

“Fuck you. No.”

“No what?”

“No. This arrangement is not over. You are going to marry me because it’s what my family deserves and I don’t care if we have to pretend for the rest of our lives.” She can feel the lump in her throat getting bigger. Her eyes starting to water.

“My father is putting an end to the contract. It’s over. You can go.” She shakes her head. 

“How could you do this?”

“Sofia, you are not the only one who was brought up with the idea of never having true love, of having to settle. I knew my dad was going to do this to me. I was fully prepared to have to play nice and pretend. But I found the real thing and then I couldn’t do it. I won’t do it.”

“I loved you.”

“No, you didn’t. You love the idea of what your family made this out to be. You don’t know what real love is. I hope you find it.” He’s so calm. Everything in her life is falling apart and he doesn’t care. 

===

She sees them for the first time at the Country Club. She has never seen him as happy as he looks right now. With y/n hanging off his arm, his hands find her, not a moment goes by where he isn’t touching her. 

How could she not have seen it? She was so stupid. All his friends laugh around her, talk to her, and engage with the girl like they never did with her. She should have been able to tell. 

They all knew. They knew she was his everything and that Sofia was just some obstruction getting in the way of forever. 

The hints were all there. 

[thedovesaredying]

Co-Parenting | Ex-Husband!Nikto x F!Reader

You're finally stepping back into the world of dating, with your first official date since divorcing your husband, Nikto. It seems simple enough in theory, but suddenly having the fur baby the two of you co-parent dumped on you causes some issues.

A/N: Okay, some of y'all wanted a continuation of this with ex-husband Nikto, so I have come to deliver you some more food. This one is more of a Sputnik centric chapter than a Nikto one, but he does make an appearance. Also RIP Nathan, you didn't deserve any of this lmao.

Warnings: Mild Gore, Nikto's Possessive Ass.

Masterlist: CoD Masterlist

Prev | Next

You have to admit it. 

You look damn good tonight.  

A light touch of makeup, some of your nicer jewellery, and a cute, flowy dress in one of your favourite prints. You give a quick twirl, feeling your confidence return with every passing second you view yourself in the mirror. It’s been a long time since your last date with someone other than your ex-husband, so nerves have been slowly eating you alive, pulling apart your confidence at the seams.  

Nathan is a sweet enough man, always kind and respectful toward you. Normally, you wouldn’t invite a man back to your home on a first date, but the two of you have been meeting for coffee for weeks now, so you’re willing to take the risk. He’s even agreed to pick up dinner and drinks for you so you don’t have to worry about getting anything yourself.  

It feels weird to be thinking about a man other than your previous husband in a romantic way, but you’re determined to push past that discomfort. You can’t just continue to be hung up on your ex-husband for the rest of your life, you need to learn to move on, regardless of how difficult that may be.  

A knock on the door startles you from your thoughts and you hurriedly rush toward the front door. A glance at the clock informs you that it’s almost an hour before Nathan in due to arrive, so you’re a little confused as to who could be disturbing you so early in the evening. You pull the door open without bothering to check through the peephole and are immediately pounced on by a massive creature.  

Two large paws rest upon your shoulder and there’s hot breath being puffed directly into your face. You only barely stop yourself from falling over backwards, but you can’t be mad, not when you see Sputnik grinning at you with her massive smile. She cries loudly at you, trying desperately to lick at your face, despite your futile attempts at saving your poor makeup from the impending slobber.  

A harshly snapped out “ЛЕЖАТЬ!” thankfully has the hyena dropping back down to the floor before too much damage can be inflicted and draws your eyes to the voice’s owner. It’s more than a little frustrating that you feel your nerves settle the moment you spot Nikto behind Sputnik, his eyes slowly dragging over every inch of your body with very little effort to hide his rather obvious interest.  

“You are going out?” The question snaps you out of your brief moment of contemplation and back into the present. You ignore the question since, technically it isn’t any of his business, and telling him that you’re about to spend the evening with another man just feels... strange.  

“What are you two doing here? I thought I was picking up this big baby on Sunday?” Normally, you and Nikto go half and half with the custody of Sputnik – she's Nikto’s pet, obviously, but you know she tends to get stressed if she hasn’t seen you for a while, and you’re more than happy to take her when your ex-husband is on a mission that doesn’t lend itself to having such an animal present – however, you’re more than certain it’s not your time to take over her care.  

“да,” he agrees with a firm nod, “but we are being deployed last minute, she requires care while we are away,” he goes on to explain. “We apologise for the last minute notice, but the kennels on base will no longer accommodate her.” 

That much you do know. Something about Sputnik trying to bite one too many of the canine handlers for the crime of merely existing in their own workplace. She’s allowed to be on base while Nikto is there to control her or left in his quarters, but no longer are they willing to risk the limbs of their poor operatives while Nikto is abroad.  

Although you would normally be up for hyena-sitting, there is one major issue. While Sputnik is tolerant of your female friends, any man other than her precious daddy is considered untrustworthy scum that need to be torn to pieces. Especially, men that get close to you. An unknown male touching you is a crime punishable by death in the hyena’s eyes and you’re not entirely certain if she’s always felt that way or if it’s a trait she’s picked up from her owner.   

Before you can argue, however, Nikto’s phone starts ringing. He presses it to his cloth covered ear and listens to whoever is mumbling on the other end. You can see the subtle shift of his mouth under his balaclava, frowning in clear annoyance at whatever message he’s just received. He covers the phone’s microphone, offering only a quick, “we will be back soon,” before he’s dumping Sputnik’s blanket in your arms and near enough jogging away from your front door.  

You watch, stunned, as he pulls himself into the driver’s side of the car and practically floors it out of the quiet street. Clearly, there’s some kind of emergency he needs to deal with personally. Unfortunately, that doesn’t help fix your current predicament. Sputnik might currently be grinning up at you with an excited giggle, but you know for certain that her demeanour will change the moment poor Nathan arrives.  

Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a loud sigh, you call Sputnik inside, allowing her to sprint around the house. She has her snout pressed to the ground, inspecting the entire perimeter of the building’s interior with the sound of wet sniffing. You let her reacquaint herself with your house then call her into your once shared bedroom.  

Her blanket is spread out across the foot of the bed and immediately Sputnik leaps up so she can roll on the soft material. It’s the same blanket Nikto tends to have on his bed, so it smells strongly of the other man and the hyena is more than happy to try and spread the scent all over your bed.  

It seems you won’t be getting up to anything fun in the bedroom tonight.  

You try to stealthily sneak out the bedroom door without Sputnik noticing, but the moment you’re away from her side she’s lifting her head and looking toward you. “Stay Sputnik,” you say, holding up a hand and backing out of the door, slowly closing it behind you, “be a good girl for mum Sputnik, stay!” She tilts her head to the side like a confused puppy, but stays put, even when you pull the door all the way closed.  

Luckily, you still have a few minutes to touch you the makeup that was slightly smudged by your beloved fur child, before someone knocks on the door for the second time that evening. Before you can even get to the door, you can hear Sputnik's panicked cackling and snarling, accompanied by the sound of sharp claws raking down the wood of your bedroom door.  

You mentally run through the list of commands Nikto has previously taught you, then shout out a firm, “Tiho!” The pronunciation isn’t quite perfect, but Sputnik seems to get the gist of the command and quiets with one final whine.  

When you open the door this time, you’re relieved to find it is in fact Nathan this time. He’s come supplied with the takeout the two of you had agreed on and a nice bottle of wine to share. He thankfully doesn’t seem to have heard Sputnik, for he greets you normally and is happy to come inside and relinquish the food to you at your insistence.  

Serving up the food and wine is a quick process and the two of you are seated on the couch in no time, both happily munching away while some sappy romance film plays in the background. You’re almost able to completely relax and enjoy the evening, chatting about nothing in particular and giggling whenever you’re complimented. You can hear an odd grinding sound in the background, but decide to ignore it since Sputnik hasn’t made a peep otherwise.  

It’s only after the two of you have finished eating that you realise your mistake. After just enough alcohol to get a light buzz and feeling rather relaxed, the night has progressed to you laying on your back on the couch with Nathan settled above you. He’s sat straddling your lap, leant over so the two of you can exchange slow, explorative kisses. Everything seems perfect... until you hear a familiar snarl.  

Your head whips around to see the massive hyena stood in your living room. Her lips are peeled back in an ugly snarl, displaying her huge teeth covered in drool. That’s all you get to see before she’s lunging, grabbing a hold of Nathan’s arm. His screams, filled with panic and pain are terrible, but what’s worse is the sound of bone splintering.  

Sputnik yanks her head back, easily pulling the man off of you and onto the floor. “Sputnik! Fu! Fu!” you quickly shout, shooting up to your feet. The hyena gives you a slightly confused look, tilting her head to the side again as if she doesn’t still have poor Nathan’s arm firmly held between her iron jaws.  

One final command of “drop it!” has her reluctantly releasing her hold. You grab her collar, heaving her muscular body away from Nathan, but the man is already on his feet, making his way for the door. He ignores it when you shout after him, not that you can blame the man. Nor can you blame him for slamming the door closed on his way out and not looking back.  

Sputnik looks up at you with a bright grin, clearly very pleased with herself for “saving you” from the big, nasty man. She leans her snout against your stomach with a self-satisfied huff, and you mourn your poor dress now covered in blood. You really need Nikto to teach you his release command.  

On further investigation, you’re unsurprised to find the large hole gnawed into the bottom of your bedroom door and the corner of the wall. You’re equally as unsurprised when you find Nathan has blocked your phone number.  

When Nikto appears the following day, you’re forced to explain what happened the previous evening. He assures you it won’t be an issue and that Nathan won’t be calling animal control on either of you. You try to ask him how he knows that so certainly, but he simply tells you to leave all the worrying to him. At least he offers to spend the day fixing your wall and door, perhaps the only good thing to come out of all this.

-

Back on base Nikto is greeted by Krueger in their shared rec room. The Austrian eyes Nikto and Sputnik for a moment before asking, “the operation went smoothly?” 

Nikto provides a snort, “да, our mission was a success, yes Sputnik?” he asks, watching as the hyena offers her own pleased snort. “She has protected our girl, just as planned, and that pathetic,” he spits the word, “excuse for a man will stay far away from what is ours.”  

Krueger simply rolls his eyes, “scary fucker.”  

[yerimbrit]

[flufftober day 28, wc: 804] - sleepover : 10 hour flight

“HEY GUYS,” you wave, holding your bag full of your necessities and clothes for the night. that’s right, you’re staying over at your girlfriend’s place! which is also your cousin’s place. which is also minji, danielle, and haerin’s place. which also may or may not be the newjeans dorm. because your girlfriend is hanni from newjeans. 

wow, you still can’t believe that you’re dating hanni from newjeans, and you didn’t even meet as a fan—you met on some random day at the airport, strangers-to-lovers-trope type of shit. 

minji and hyein are the ones who answer the door for you, and minji immediately sighs, “you better not pull anything tonight.”

“you bet, MJ,” you click your tongue playfully and shoot a finger-gun at her, “no shady business that was planned.”

hyein gives you a hug, and- “oh my god, you got taller again!”

the younger girl is about to make a height comparison with her hands until you spot danielle who pushes her out of the way to give you a hug. “y/n! i haven’t seen you in forever, you’re so busy with school!”

a slight headache invades your mind for a split second when she mentions ‘school’. “i’ve got deadlines, a painting to finish, and a thesis to write, dani. don’t remind me…”

the australian shoots you a pitying look, before making way for hanni, who strikes a pose before strutting over to you. “hello, guest.”

oh, another thing you learned is that hanni can be pretty unintentionally funny at times. like how she’s greeting you like some sci-fi bigshot. “hello, your highness,” you bow, hovering your hand over your chest. 

she brings you in for a short peck on the lips, causing haerin (who just walked into the living room) to cover hyein’s eyes, and for minji to cover haerin’s eyes. danielle smiles and walks to the kitchen. “i missed you, y/n.”

“i missed you too, han,” you smile fondly at her before she leads you into the apartment. everyone gathers in her room where you also put your bag of things in. 

it’s been a couple of weeks since you’ve been to the dorm, but it hasn’t been that long since you’ve seen the girls—danielle was exaggerating. you just stopped by their practice room two days ago to drop off some food that hyein’s mom made for them. not that your absence has changed anything, the dorm is pretty much the same save for a big banner featuring their ‘right now’ characters. 

in hanni’s room, she’s moved around some stuff, like the record player that’s playing a mac demarco vinyl right now. there’s also a whole section dedicated to organizing the various supplies that you’ve forgotten while you were over the few dozens (maybe even hundreds) of times over two years. you’re pretty sure there’s even stuff you left in hyein’s room, whoops.

you climb up on her loft bed (which she’s been saying she’s gonna replace, but she hasn’t yet) and hang your legs over the edge. minji sends you a warning look from her place on the floor. hanni looks concerned, but joins you criss-cross on the bed, holding her ‘fluffy’ plush (yes, the one from despicable me) to her chest.

a few conversations start, like danielle bringing up sylvanian families and getting haerin very invested in the discussion, which led to the topic shifting to cats, and then your sketch of a cat you saw on the way here, and somehow sparking your flame of inspiration.

you slowly lean forward, trying to get a view of the girls that are sitting on the floor (or bean bag, in haerin’s case) because just a little more and you’ll have a perfect bird’s eye view.

hanni notices your movements and widens her eyes, “y/n, you’re gonna fall!”

“it’s not that high,” you try to reassure her, still inching off of the bed, danielle, hyein, and minji scoot away just in case you actually fall, which you probably will, based on their previous experiences with you. come on, you mostly stopped doing those stunts a long time ago, because you knew hanni would worry! it’s not like you’re gonna—

“y/n!”

…you fell. that kind of hurt. “uh, don’t worry guys. it’s just a sprain.”

haerin winces as she looks at your present state. “your arm is bent the other way.”

it is? you look at your arm and, oh. “i guess it is—oh shit.”

…

“i can’t believe i’m in the er with you. again,” hanni sighs heavily, poking at the cast wrapped around your arm.

you blow a strand of your bangs out of your face. “at least i didn’t break two of my ribs again. hey, wanna reenact our first kiss?”

your girlfriend stares blankly at you. you raise your unbroken arm in defense. “no? okay…”

flufftober masterlist!

a/n : i miss u 10 hour flight

[fanfic-compass]

~Intrigued~

Human Alastor X Reader

Summary: The Reader is a Young Woman who recently started working as a dancer in a Jazz bar in New Orleans. There she quickly gets noticed by Alastor who needs to get to know her.

Word count: 1K

Warning: Mimzy

(Picture is Not Mine)

It was something about the way she moved. Something about the way she swayed her hips to show off her magnificent body that had Alastor fascinated and intrigued. Usually he wasn’t someone who stared at a woman, he was classy and decent but as soon as he saw this young woman dancing he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Not that he wanted to.

She was the new dancer in the bar, he hasn’t seen her before. She was new and interesting and Alastor absolutely wanted to know more about her. His eyes were fixed on her the entire time that she danced and whenever she even looked at one of the other men or winked at someone, he felt a wave of jealousy like he never felt before.

And then this young wonder left the stage. Alastor looked around the bar but he couldn’t find her anymore. That was when he was suddenly approached by someone. That person touched his shoulder which startled him for a moment and without even thinking about it he shoved the person off. Only then he turned around to see that it was actually one of his closest friends.

“Mimzy!” He said happily.

“Alastor, darling. You didn’t even tell you would come over today”

“Well, it was a spontaneous visit. And may I say I absolutely made the right decision. I just watched your newest dancer. She is an absolute jewel.”

“Yes she is, very young and very talented too. She brings in many men from the streets who all wanna take a look at her. Not the typical beauty but she definitely knows how to move.”

“Very intriguing indeed.” Alastor admits. “I would very much like to meet her in person.”

“She will start serving drinks in a short while. But darling, don’t you distract her too much, I still need her.” With that, Mimzy left Alastor alone.

And just like she said, the young dancer came back into the bar, wearing a nice satin robe and carrying a tray of drinks. Alastor walked towards her and gripped her arm, making her turn around and look up at him.

“Stunning performance, my dear. Now please be a good girl and bring me a glass of Whiskey, no ice.”

The young dancer was confused for a moment, asking herself if she should know who he was but then she nodded and left. A short moment later she came back to him with a large glass of Whiskey.

“Here you go, sir.”

“Thank you, my dear.” Alastor said as he took the glass from her and drinks its contents in one big gulp. Then he puts the glass on a nearby table and smirks at her. “Now, darling, how about a little dance?”

Without waiting for her to answer he pulls her into him and starts gently swaying from side to side with her. He holds her very tightly and makes sure that she couldn’t move away from him.

The young dancer didn’t know how to respond and in a weird way she was even intrigued by the man. She met many pushy men before but this one was different. He was rather charming actually. He looked deeply into her eyes and she looked into his. She was drawn to him, like he put a charm on her. They danced for a long while and she felt the sudden urge to just lean in and kiss him and she noticed that he must have felt it too. She noticed how his face got closer and closer as he slowly leaned down towards her. She closed her eyes but before she could feel what she wanted, no, needed to feel so badly, Alastor had to pull away.

The young dancer opened her eyes again and saw the reason: Mimzy.

“Alastor” Mimzy said. “Darling, don’t you wanna dance with me? You always do, I’m just waiting for you.”

“Mimzy, my dear…” Alastor said and gave her a sharp look. “Didn’t you just see me dance with this lovely young lady?” He took the hand of the younger woman.

“But you always dance with me.”

“But not tonight. And now, if you don’t mind I would like to keep dancing with my lovely darling over here.”

With that Alastor turned around and brought all his attention to the young dancer in front of him, making Mimzy go away in anger.

“I’m sorry about her, my darling.” He said softly.

“You must be very popular when she is fighting for your attention like that. But then again Mimzy is fighting for all the attention all the time.” The young lady giggled softly.

“Yes, well, she does enjoy attention a lot. But she is not getting mine tonight. Not when I have such a lovely young woman such as yourself right here in front of me.”

They continued dancing for a long time but once again Mimzy interrupted them by reminding the young lady that she had to serve drinks to the other guests and couldn’t dance with one man all night long. Alastor kept smiling at the whole situation but the young dancer managed to see a hint of annoyance in his smile. So she decided to be bold and gave him a gentle little peck on the cheek which put a more genuine smile on his lips.

“My dear, how about I wait for you until your shift is over and then we take a nice walk through the woods? Would you like that?”

“Oh that sounds lovely.”

“Then, let me give you something so that you won’t forget that I’m waiting for you.”

Alastor pulled her closer to him once again but this time without hesitation he pressed his lips onto hers in a firm kiss. His arms were wrapped around her waist and she brought her hands up to his neck and then into his hair.

The kiss they shared was full of passion and desire and when Alastor pulled away with a wide grin, the young girl knew she was in for a real treat.

[corrupte3d-mindz]

Uncharted Territory

Billy Kimber’s Daughter

Possessive! Thomas Shelby x Reader Kimber

Summary: Your first encounter with Thomas Shelby, and your relationship between the two of you a month later.

WordCount: 3.1k

Stable, was all you could say about your relationship with Thomas Shelby. Relationships with him weren’t unknown but there were very few who stuck around for longer than just a night. Thomas was one who sought after you, after that faithful day at the Garrison; you shouldn’t have even been there but your father insisted. However he said to stay in the car and wait, after this little meeting with the man who fixed a race; you needed to get your dress for the derby the following evening. Remembering that day like it was the night before.

“Right, he’s the oldest, you’re the thickest. I’m told the boss is called Tommy and I’m guessing that’s you cos’ you’re looking me up and down like I’m a fucking tart”

The door behind your father creeks, and he turns his head before lowering it in disappointment. Thomas, Arthur, and John all move in their seats to look at the person, John put his hand on his gun belt along with Arthur.

“you’re just like your mother.”

Kimber notices their hands on their gun belts, clearing his throat and gently pulling you behind him he looks at them.

"I'm gonna have you shot against a pole if you don't take your fuckin' hands off the guns. She means no harm; just insanely impatient."

Thomas noted your small frame and waved for his brothers to stand down.

"Women ain't part of this deal, Kimber." pausing, looking back at you "You and I both know that all too well."

"So, why'd you bring her in the first place?"

"Well, I thought this bloody meeting would be over quick, didn’t I? Instead of wasting time going back home to fetch her for those measurements for the new dress for the derby tomorrow, I just brought her here. Told her to stay in the car, didn't I?”

“You said it would be over by 10, it’s 11 now!”

Gritting your teeth and biting your tongue before you said anything else, but Thomas stood up and asked Kimber to move so he could see you.

"Is this what you handle? All day long?" Thomas stares at you, eyes cold and calculating, before turning the Kimber, his voice low and dangerous."Is she with anyone?"

"Oh, bloody hell no, she's not dating unless the lad can offer her what I've given her growing up... and that ain't happened yet, has it?"

“No..no it hasn’t”

“Kimber I’ve never seen her at the races before, you hiding her?”

Kimber looked at him before smiling

"She stays put where I'm at, see? She don't get the choice to wander when I ain't around."

Clearing your throat, and standing in with your back facing your father. You spoke up about your feelings.

"‘E's fuckin' stupid, that's what it is."

"Another reason why she can’t walk around, she runs her mouth like a bloody sailor. It makes me look bad."

Kimber runs his fingers through your hair and fixed it to his liking

"Oi, what's her age, then? Legal, ain't she?"

Kimber thought about it for a second, before nodding and saying you’re nineteen.

"Aye, you reckon you can handle her, lad? I'm warning you, she may seem calm now, but she ain't one for stoppin' and listenin'. It's like there's no brain up there, I tell ya."

You bit your tongue before deciding it was worth it.

“I have a fuckin' brain, I was top of my math class”

"Sweetheart, I'm just givin' you a hard time about it. I know you're extremely smart with numbers, but actin' proper, is where ya’ struggle."

“Should I meet the description of what you want in a partner, then I shall court her to seal this deal. Sound like a plan?"

Thomas sat back down his chair and pulled out a cigarette and lighter then lighting it.

“It'd be a smart move, but it's her call. 'Cause this is for your gain, not mine."

His eyes fixed onto yours

"Tell me, love, what's your verdict?" Thomas exhales smoke slowly, his gaze unwavering, piercing through the veil of the Garrison.

And the rest was history, the derby ‘date’ went outstandingly well for us. Thomas was very kind and generous with you, your father even let you and him walk around alone instead of being cooped up in the box you normally sit in. The deal was agreed upon after that day and he could see I was delighted to have someone different to talk to besides him or the maids. The most memorable thing of that day was the kiss you shared after he said goodbye to you, it felt real and intimate and not like it was false. Thomas learned you really loved riding horses, painting, and of course cooking. Meeting him felt like putting the last piece of a puzzle together.

Stopping by the Marquis Pub on your way home, well Thomas’s home. One of your favorite bartender Nicolas Tennant was in that pub and you loved talking to him about your relationship with Thomas and how it was going. You felt like celebrating for an odd reason but why ignore it.

“Ello’ Nicolas how’s the family doing?”

Nicolas looked up and stuck his head out from behind the bar top, with a great big smile that could cut through paper.

“Oh, miss Kimber how are you doing today?, and the family is doing well”

“I’m feeling really grand to the point where I feel like celebrating”

The both of you chatted and caught up with each other’s lives and then you asked;

“Do you happen to have a bottle of red wine and Irish whiskey?”

He smiled at you once again before nodding his head and turning around to head to the back of the pub. Suddenly, you felt a sense of despair and pain looming over you and you turn around to see a man who’s about a foot taller than you and drunk.

“I’ll pay you £10 to have you for the night, come on baby what’do ya say~”

“No, thank you. I’m not one of those”

“Every woman is if you pay them enough, come on..”

“I’ve said no! I’m seeing someone!”

"Oi, come on now… I'm tellin' ya, I'm taller than 'im, stronger, faster, and bigger, yeah? Jus' give me a chance, love. Why you wastin' time with 'im? I got the money. Don't be daft, let's 'ave a good time, eh? You won’t regret it, I swear!"

Taken aback by this statement you leaned into the bar top, but you couldn’t move any further. The man wrapped his hand around your waist and brought your hips against his. You put your hands up against his chest and pushing away from him.

Nicolas walked back to the bar top with the liquor in a brown paper bag. Shocked by the sudden change in the atmosphere he spoke up;

“Are you fuckin’ suicidal mate?, that’s a Kimber!”

The man pushed off of you and stepped back, beads of sweat started to roll down his face. He immediately looked at you and got on his knees to beg for his life. It was truly disgusting, you felt dirty. The man noticed your face and decided it would be better if he just left and he did, leaving the pub. Looking back at Nicolas he was sweating as well, he knew that his life was on the line since this happened in his presence. He puts the bag with the bottles on the counter and then says;

“Now, it’s on the house for your troubles..”

“Oh, you really don’t have too, but can I borrow your phone in the back?”

“Sure go right ahead”

The adrenaline rush of what just happened was still rushing through your veins, felt like an adaptation of a stroke mixed with a heart attack. The feeling of being in a state where you couldn’t defend yourself was playing on loop, reminding you that you’re weak. Picking up the phone and sitting down on the desk in the dark and dimly lit back room picking up the receiver and dialing Cheshire 9210. The phone rang twice before picking up and on the other end was Thomas.

“_______ where are you, e’s everythin’ alright?”

“….there was a problem with some guy and-“

You could hear Thomas’s breath exhale when he heard that, cutting you off he asked in a tone that was masking his true nature.

“_______ what’s the man’s name?..”

“I don’t know the man’s-“

You heard a door creek and looked in the sound’s direction, it was Nicolas; apparently he was leaning against the door and pushed it open. Red in the face he looked at you.

“His name’s Lenny Davis, he’s one of my regulars”

Smiling and mouthing the word thank you before waving your hand for him to go away.

“It’s Lenny Davis..”

“Alright, that’s all I needed”

Thomas hung the phone up, you sat on the desk for a couple of minutes before hopping down and heading back into the public space. Nicolas looked like he was already writing his last will and testament. Bless his heart you thought, his pub was a lovely one; maybe you could have him spared since he had spoken up to the man.

“Stop, calm down..I won’t let Thomas go this far”

You said while pointing around the pub, the Marquis was a lovely pub and you loved talking to Nicolas.

“Your all too kind to be in this town”

“I know..”

You stood in the front driveway, just standing there for a bit while look around at the cars to see whose missing. He was..great. But it wasn’t all bad at least you knew Ada was there. Oh how you loved talking to Ada, she could understand the feeling of being a Shelby and having eyes on you as soon as you left the home.

You still were getting used to the Arrow Head House, it was a bit bigger than your childhood home. You’d moved in a week after being with him. He wanted to be able to watch you more than anything. Possessive little fucker.

“_______, where on earth have you been?”

“Ada! Oh it’s so good to see you!”

Ada opened her arms and walked over to you, giving a big hug.

“Whatcha’ got in that bag?”

She asked while pointing to it.

“Whiskey and red wine”

“Did yah buy it?” Ada started to walk into the hallway making a signal to follow. “You know Thomas doesn’t like when his woman buys things for him that he can get for himself..”

Pausing and placing the brown bag with the bottles in it on one of the hallways side tables.

“That’s the fing’ i got ‘em on the house”

“How did ya’ fuckin’ do that?”

“Thomas didn’t say anything about my whereabouts?”

Ada rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“That’s the fing’ you know they don’t tell me anythinf”

Sighing you picked up the bag and pulled out the wine bottle.

“We can mull it over with this, because yah gonna need it.”

“Alrigh’ I’ll be in the den waiting for you..”

Time passes by and eventually you come down the grand staircase in a set of nightwear that had been embroidered with little roses. Thomas got it for you. You joined Ada in the den.

How many of ‘em left?”

“Obviously, Thomas but John, Arthur, Finn, Micheal, Isaiah and Jonny Dogs..”

Ada took a sip of wine, letting it mull over in her mouth.

“What fuckin’ happened?”

You smiled and held I finger up while taking a sip of wine as well.

"I was at the Marquis, fetching the whiskey and wine, and while I was waiting, some drunkard named Lenny Davis started pestering me. I felt utterly disgusted with myself because I could have called out for help. But he took me for a prostitute and kept pushing, relentless. It wasn't until Nicholas returned and shouted that I was a Kimber and a Shelby associate, that Lenny finally backed off."

Ada’s eyes went wide for a moment, before she took another sip of wine.

“Yeah, he’s fucked..”

“You swear they didn’t say anything to you before they left?”

“_______, honey I love you a lot but I told you what I know..which is nothin’..”

Ada stood up and held her finger up before the wine glass down and disappearing into the hallway, you heard her rumbling footsteps as she came back to eyesight. She had a small pink little box with a ribbon tied in a bow around it and it was white.

"Oh, how could I forget. Your father paid a visit earlier to leave a gift for you. He stayed for a little while but then left with them once Tommy got off the phone wit’ yah.”

Ada handed you the box and you placed it by your side.

“He joined them…?”

“I know right, it felt odd seeing ‘em all, for one reason..it looked like a circus act watchin’ pile into the car”

Suddenly you heard the unique sound of an engine purring, Ada and you froze. Looking at eachother’s eyes, both standing up. Ada picked the bottle up and poured the rest of the wine into both glasses.

“I knew this bottle wasn’t going to last this night..”

You heard the car doors shutting.

“Please don’t let there be a lot of blood on their clothes”

Ada rolled her eyes while setting the glass down.

“_______, honey I love you but you always ask for the obvious to not happen.”

“Are you sayin’ I can’t have hope?”

“Hope isn’t a thing if you’re a Shelby”

The grand entrance doors opened with help from the maids. The footsteps only got louder and louder as they all made their way to the den. You looked down at the carpet, then where they would be coming from.

"Don’t you dare come into this room! I do not want blood on my carpets! You and your lot can clean yourselves up outside first!"

Thomas spoke up with a small laugh.

"We weren't planning on bringing him in there, love. Don't worry, we'll sort it out elsewhere."

"You brought him into our home?! Look at the state of you!” then it finally registered that this man was in your home "YOU BROUGHT HIM INTO OUR HOME?!" you hissed, your eyes wide with alarm as you glanced nervously at the bloodstained men entering the house.

This man was..roughened up while they were on their way to Arrow Head..he wasn’t dead but he just..there. The smell of iron started to fill the air causing you to cough a little. Alarm bells rang through your head when you looked at Thomas..his were shaking a bit, knuckles were bloodstained. Your father stepped through the group as his looked at your face, he could tell you were afraid. Kimber fixed his shirt collar. Drenched in sweat, god it looked disgusting. Thomas spoke up and a dry voice.

"My love... he hurt you. He chose death for doing so."

"Get him out of here, Thomas! I won't have you bringing that violence into our home!" You hissed at him , your voice trembling with anger and fear.

"I'm just protecting you. None of this would be possible without me by your side."

"That's not the point, Thomas! I can't bear to watch a man die in front of me, especially not like this!"

"Alright boys, take ‘em to the basement. turning to look at the empty wine bottle and then Ada. Ada, I recommend you leave me alone with _______”

Thomas stood in the dimly lit room, the weight of his actions hanging heavy in the air. His love, shaken and wide-eyed, had just seen the aftermath of his brutal world—a world he had always tried to shield them from. The tension was palpable, the room thick with the scent of blood and the echoes of violence. Seeing the fear and distress etched on their face, Thomas felt a pang of guilt. He stepped closer, his movements slow and deliberate, his eyes never leaving yours. “Hey,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing, a stark contrast to the chaos around them. “Look at me.”

"All I ever wanted was to protect you, love. Everything I do, it's for you."

"Thomas... you frightened me. You know I can't bear seeing what those men look like after you've dealt with them."

He gently reached out, his calloused fingers brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face. With a tenderness that seemed almost out of place for the ruthless leader of the Peaky Blinders, he guided you into his arms. “It’s alright,” he whispered, cradling their head against his chest, his hand moving to stroke your hair in a rhythmic, calming motion. Thomas took a deep breath, his own heartbeat steady and reassuring. “You’re safe,” he continued, his tone firm yet comforting. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Not ever.” He paused, letting the silence stretch for a moment as he gathered his thoughts.

“I know what you saw was…horrible,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “This life, it’s not what I wanted for you to see. But sometimes, it’s necessary.” He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his gaze intense and sincere. “I need you to trust me. To believe that I’m doing everything I can to protect us. To protect you.” His hand continued its soothing motion, petting your hair as he drew her even closer, creating a cocoon of intimacy amidst the chaos. “I would burn the world to the ground before I let anything happen to you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, yet each word resonated with fierce conviction.

In the embrace, he allowed you to lean into his strength, to find solace in the arms of a man who, despite his ruthlessness, loved you with an intensity that defied the darkness surrounding them. The world might be brutal, but in that moment, with Thomas holding you, you found a sanctuary where fear had no place. He cupped your face in his hands, his touch firm yet infinitely gentle. The roughness of his palms contrasted with the softness of your skin, a reminder of the harsh world he inhabited and the tenderness he reserved solely for you. His thumb brushed lightly over your cheek, wiping away the trace of a tear.

“Look at me,” he whispered, his voice low and steady. “I need you to know how much you mean to me. More than anything.”

With a final, reassuring stroke of your hair, he leaned in, his breath mingling with hers. The kiss was slow, deliberate, and filled with a thousand unspoken promises. His lips moved over yours with a tenderness that belied the brutal world outside, each kiss a silent vow of his love and his regret for the pain he had caused you. He poured everything into that kiss—his need to protect you, his sorrow for your distress, and the fierce love that drove him to such lengths. His hands slid to the nape of your neck, holding you gently yet securely, as if anchoring you to him in the midst of the turmoil.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath coming in steady, calming waves. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” he murmured, his voice rough with sincerity. “But I swear to you, I’ll always be here. Always.” In that moment, surrounded by the echoes of what had happened, the kiss was a beacon of their connection, a testament to the strength of their bond amid the darkness.

Author Notes:

I made the little pictures and added smoke along with the little sparkles! Oh my gosh it’s so freaking cute!!

Please don’t harp on me for the phone number and yes it’s at the arrow house instead of the beginning of where they stay, Thomas just made bank after you became a couple.

Love yah!

[6rookie-writer0110]

I have been falling for a long time

Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader

Request- The reader is the son of Dante from the devil may cry series but he hasn’t told the team or Wanda that he is a half devil because he’s scared who they will react and across it will scare Wanda. So on the rare occasion the team has a day off Dante and Vergil decide to drop by unannounced because Dante misses his kid and wants to meet the heroes (also because Vergil misses his nephew but he won’t say that and instead will say he’s testing your power)and Dante had the bright idea to just randomly start attacking without saying anything

You and Wanda are at home, carving pumpkins together. You and Wanda have to take out the insides of the pumpkin.

“I always wanted to do this” Wanda smiled.

“I thought it would be boring but it's not,” You said.

“Are you going to carve a scary face?” Wanda asked.

“I will try” You smiled.

You and Wanda start to carve faces on the pumpkin.

“Babe, can I ask you something?” Wanda asked.

“Sure,” You said.

“How come, you don't want me to meet your family? We have been dating for a long time now. You know everything about me and met Pietro and my dad. Feels like I don't know everything about you” Wanda said.

You haven't told your girlfriend about your family and what you are. You don't want her to be scared of you or worse hate you. You always lie about why she can't meet the family and you are running out of excuses.

“Wanda… It's not a good time right now” You said.

“Why?” Wanda asked.

“Because my dad is sick and he has the flu. And I don't want us to get sick” You lied.

“Okay, I understand. How's the pumpkin coming along?” Wanda said.

“Not bad… I think” You said unsure.

Your pumpkin isn't scary and Wanda carved a happy face. Then you and Wanda put the pumpkins on the window. Later, you and Wanda cuddle on the couch and watch a movie.

——

Vergil and Dante are home.

“Brother, have you noticed everything is calm right now,” Vergil said.

“It is,” Dante said.

“We should take advantage of this and have some real fun,” Vergil said.

“We should go see, Y/n. I miss him and we haven't seen him since he left home” Dante said.

Vergil does miss his nephew but won't say it.

“Are you going to call him?” Vergil asked.

“No; how about we surprise him” Dante smiled.

“The element of attacking, good idea,” Vergil said.

“Let’s go before something ruins this moment,” Dante said.

“Okay,” Vergil said.

Before leaving they went to gather some clothes and weapons. Your father Dante, knows where you live because you told him before.

—

Nick Fury and Steve, are making everyone do bonding training exercises. Because lately, everyone hasn't been getting along and the last mission went terribly wrong. Everyone is outside near the shield building. You are standing next to Wanda, but you aren't paying attention to their speech on working together.

But Vergil and Dante spotted you standing next to Wanda. They don't know that she is your girlfriend and they are on the roof, looking at you. Dante takes out his gun and sword, then Vergil takes out his sword. The building isn't too far from where you are standing. Nick and Steve will make you and others train next to the woods. But you rather be in bed sleeping and wake up in the afternoon.

“Ready?” Vergil asked.

“Yeah, let's give him a big hug” Dante smirked.

Vergil and Dante started to walk backward, and then they started to run very fast and jumped off the roof. They managed to reach the distance from where you were standing. You didn't have time to fight back, suddenly you felt your head on the ground extremely hard. Your skull cracked open.

“Hello, nephew” Vergil yelled.

You start to heal fast then you sit up. Wanda is using her magic to fight your father and uncle. Natasha joins in and starts to fight them, then the guys start to fight Dante and Vergil. You stand up and you use your magic to summon your sword.

“This is one hell of a reunion” You smirked.

Your father starts to run towards you and you block his attack.

“Dad!?” You yelled.

“You forgot how your father looks?” Dante asked.

“Y/n, he is your father!?” Wanda yelled.

You and your father keep fighting.

“Yes! He is my father. Dad, what are you doing here? Why you didn't call?” You said.

“Why are you two fighting?” Steve asked.

“This is how we say hi,” Vergil said.

You have some blood on your face, due to hitting the ground. You and your dad stopped fighting then he hugged you.

“What the hell is going on?” Nick yelled.

“This is my father Dante and my uncle Vergil,” You said.

Wanda is waiting for you to tell them that she is your girlfriend.

“Dad, this is the team I'm part of the Avengers. We were supposed to do group training” You said.

Wanda cleared her throat.

“Oh! Sorry. Ummm, dad, this is my girlfriend Wanda Maximoff” You said.

“Nice to meet you,” Wanda said.

“Nice to meet you. Y/n, you didn't tell me that you have a girlfriend?” Dante asked.

“And you said no one would date you because you are a demon,” Vergil said.

“Demon?” Everyone said at the same time.

“What does he mean, that you are a demon?” Wanda asked.

“Yes, my son is a demon it runs in the family. That's why he can heal extremely fast during combat” Dante said.

“I didn't tell you or anyone because… because people will treat me differently and won't trust me because I'm half demon,” You said.

“Why did you lie to me, about everything?” Wanda asked.

You began to stutter then Wanda walked away, then you sighed. You run after her but she needs space and she keeps walking away.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Since finding out that you are half-demon, you and Wanda have been arguing for days. Your dad and uncle went to see you and Wanda, but they heard you two arguing from the bedroom.

“Do you think she will forgive him?” Vergil asked.

“Tough to say. From what I heard, they have been dating for two years and he never told her” Dante said.

“Is he ashamed?” Vergil asked.

“Remember the last girl he dated? He told her and we had to fight the hunters” Dante said.

“Well, they deserved to die,” Vergil said.

Dante nods. They stopped talking because they started to hear what you and Wanda were yelling about.

“Why did you lie to me?!” Wanda yelled.

“I didn't lie to you!” You yelled.

“I told you everything about myself and you didn't! How do you think, I felt when I found out that you were half-demon by your dad attacking you? I don't know if I can trust you, Y/n” Wanda said.

“I’m sorry I didn't tell you. But you can trust me, Wanda. I have been there for you through everything” You yelled.

“But you lied to me about you who are! That is a huge part of you!” Wanda yelled.

You and Wanda kept going back and forth yelling at each other. Then Dante and Vergil, watched Wanda storm out of the apartment. She slammed the door extremely hard then you came out of the bedroom.

“Everything better?” Vergil asked.

You glared at your uncle.

“We live together and she kicked me out,” You said.

“Why you didn't tell her?” Dante asked.

“Because what happened with my last ex-girlfriend, remember? I was scared, Wanda would be like that” You said.

“Give her space then talk to her,” Dante asked.

“If that doesn't work out, then dump her and find someone else,” Vergil said.

“I have to pack,” You said.

You went back to the bedroom, then you started to pack your clothes. Then you went to a hotel with your father and uncle.

——

For days you have been moping around and didn't go on missions. Steve would call but you ignore his calls, then Natasha would call or send you emails but she would threaten you to answer her back. But you don't care if she gets mad at you for not answering, then Scott tried to cheer you but it didn't work.

“Are you in love with her?” Dante asked.

“Yeah, but I haven't told her. Do you think she would forgive me?” You said.

You are sitting on the bed and your dad sits next to you.

“She will forgive you, just give it time. How did you meet her?” Dante asked.

“When I first joined the Avengers, I met her there and it was love at first sight for me,” You said.

“She will come around and when she does, tell her the truth,” Dante said.

He smacked the back of your head, then you started to rub your head.

“What was that for!?” You yelled.

“For being an idiot and not telling her that you are a demon!” Dante yelled.

You glared at your father.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You found out that the team had to pick sides Steve or Tony. Also, you and Wanda are not talking to each other at all. You went to the airport with your dad and uncle.

“What's the plan?” Dante asked

“I don't want them to fight and I don't want anyone to hurt Wanda,” You said.

“That’s it?” Vergil asked.

“Yes! Yeah, that's it. What else did you expect?” You said

“Looks like someone woke up grumpy,” Vergil said.

“Whatever” You mumbled.

You made it to the airport in time. They were about to fight, then you stood in the middle.

“Come on, guys we don't have to fight,” You said.

“You don't know what is going on, kid. So step aside” Tony said.

“You have to pick a side,” Steve said.

“No!” You yelled.

Everyone watched you transform into your true form as a devil. Your eyes become red, and you are tall and have wings, a long tail, and massive claws.

“Y/n?” Wanda said.

“That’s his true form as a demon,” Vergil said.

You used your claws to break the ground.

“No one will fight!” You yelled.

Wanda moved closer to you.

“Fight him then we will fight against all of you,” Vergil said then he took out his sword.

“My brother is right,” Dante said.

The fight was about to start, but Wanda used her magic to stop everyone. Then you look at Tony and Steve, and you summon your sword with your magic.

“Fine, we won't fight,” Steve said.

“Tony?” Wanda said.

“Okay, okay, we won't fight,” Tony said.

——

Wanda forgave you and you told her why you didn't tell her. You are happy that she let you move back in with her.

“So, happy that we are here alone” Wanda smiled.

You took your girlfriend to the park for a picnic date. You and Wanda start to kiss each other then the date gets ruined because your uncle and father arrive.

“This is a private date,” You said.

“We just want to get to know, Wanda that's all,” Vergil said.

“Uncle V, you hate fun and people,” You said.

“Y/n, I don't mind they are here,” Wanda said.

“Listen to your girlfriend, punk,” Vergil said.

He puts you in a headlock then he starts to mess up your hair.

“Uncle Vergil!” You yelled.

Wanda starts to laugh. You punched your uncle in the stomach then he pushed you to the ground. Wanda moved away and watched you wrestle with your uncle.

“Is everyone like this all the time?” Wanda asked.

“Yes. Welcome to the family, Wanda” Dante said.

“Oh…” Wanda said.

“Wanda, please keep an eye on my son even when you are apart,” Dante said.

“I promise,” Wanda said.

“If you ever need anything, just call me or my brother Vergil,” Dante said.

“I will keep that in mind. Are you going to stop them?” Wanda said.

“Will try” Dante said.

Your father did try to stop you and Vergil, but then he joined the fight.

“Kids” Wanda sighed

She used her magic to stop you three from fighting.

[darling-answers]

Hi! Can I have a widowmaker angst about having a past best friend, remembering her and reuniting with her please? (It can be sfw or nsfw or both. also can you do pre Talon and currently?) THANK YOU SO MUCH <3

For this I will be sticking with Sfw as I do not see Amelia being a cheater to her husband pre-Talon and since her emotions got wiped I don’t think she could ever emotionally love someone. This may be somewhat short because I was asked by the person who requested this to make it into more of a headcanon and meeting someone who we are still a little mysterious about can be hard.

Pre - Talon

“ Is that you.. copine? It been too long! I never expected to see you in France.”

• She found you wandering the streets of Marseille France, looking completely lost.

• coming into contact with you she almost didn’t recognize you if it weren’t for your certain eye structure and color that made you seem so familiar. She sought to help you out.

• She was delighted to see a friend that she hadn’t seen in a while Almost too excited. You guys had been friends at the time of her becoming a premature Ballerina.

• She brought you back to the chateau guillard with your permission to spend some time in her place wanting to catch up with you since she hasn’t seen you in so long.

• She explained what she did after you guys departure becoming a very much rising fame Ballerina in France, she expressed her happiness in meeting her Husband as they were both fell in love so quickly.

• She poured herself a bottle of wine taking sips as she gave you one as well. She even offered to let you stay at her house for your time being in France since it been lonely with her husband working his job.

• when asked what her husband does she stayed a little silent just giving a brief smile before it falls quickly. She explained her husband does some agent business and it has not been going the way she was promised that something had happened and he wouldn’t be back for some time as he works out the business.

• once you are done with your time at France she will give you a sweet wave as she helps you pack your stuff and takes you to the airport giving advice on the next time you ever want to come to France.

“ Truly I don’t mind helping just ask.. while I still do ballerina I feel lonely without my husband around so please stop on by when you can.”

Talon.

“ you seem to quiver by my presence, are you afraid I might kill you?”

• if you have meet her in her talon era there only two possibility you could. Either you joined Talon willfully and meet her wandering the halls of the silent base, or you meet her when you were a civilian and just so happen to stumble upon her doing a mission

• either way you are either seemed as a threat or a Allies. Her eyes will glade and go all over you finding out your intentions before you could even blink. She had her gun raised already pointed at you the moment she could sense you.

• if you are a threat she will easily use her flexibility to her gain and kill you the moment you step foot in her den, not giving a damn no matter what your guy’s relationship was, Friends with benefit, your killed, Best friends for years, your killed, soul sister, your dead. She won’t barely even think on it. If you truly had an emotional impact on her she will feel somewhat guilty but straight take her ass to Moira and have Moira wipe all emotions of her again.

• now if your a Allies or not a threat with no weapons to truly protect yourself from her she will somewhat relax not fully but her intense gaze will turn into a more emotionless one. She still will be stiff but your presence won’t be as heavy as before. She won’t point her gun at you but will still keep the safety unlocked and ready to aim at you. She will give you an almost empty look as she questioned what you’re doing and do you truly know what you just walked into.

• if you ever wanted to leave talon or just not get involved in what you were exposed to she wouldn’t stop you, she might even encourage it if she feels even the most tiny pity for your friendship. But besides that she will ignore you if you even try to bring up your old friendship or the the Amelie you knew she will give you a mean look, and a sarcastic tone.

“ The Amelie you knew is Dead, you best not dwell on the past, your weak with those emotions of yours.”

Maybe in a different life you guys could be friends or even something more but you know what they say, not everyone gets there happy ending and sure as hell you or Amelie don’t get yours either.

[emry-stars-art]

tell us about the royals au!!! (im on my knees. please.)

Ohhhhh my friend you have started me on a RANT I hope you’re ready!!!

I don’t know that I’ll ever actually write it so I’m not too worried about spoilers, and the wonderful people in my dms (which are still open btw) bouncing ideas with me are always going to come up with great ideas so I’m putting WIP in big red letters, things are subject to change! But for now, some ideas. Most of what I have will be under the cut, but if you want to know more about a specific part/have any questions please I’d love to chat :D will link to the art/posts I have so far!

(In this au I’ve been referring to Neil as Nathaniel at first and then Abram (hello names as a plot device), and everyone else right now is some version of their name)

Kevin and Nathaniel were raised at Evermore castle, Kevin to be in direct competition to Riko/see which of them might claim the throne (not thought out yet), and Nathaniel as the Moriyama’s attack dog, born and raised to take his father’s place as such. The two never met in person, but Nathaniel knows and recognizes Day because of course he does, and Day knows the name Wesninski means a very, very dangerous person. Essentially the top assassin on the continent.

But as we do, Day decides he can’t/won’t handle the treatment anymore, whatever the last straw may be, and runs off to Palmetto in a kind of desperate chase of the stories his mother used to tell him when he was little. He knew she loved that kingdom. Somehow he finds Wymack - the twin’s royal advisor - or Wymack finds him, and once Wymack realizes who this kid is and has reason to believe he’s not here on Evermore business, he puts Day’s incredible talent and training as a tactician/commander to work as his pupil.

Meanwhile Nathaniel is still at Evermore, mistreated and learning from his own failures and mistakes until he’s nearly as good as his father at the family business.

I don’t know how long Nathaniel plans it, but he either plays the part for long enough or his skill is so undeniable that when the Moriyamas have plans for the Palmetto Kingdom, they send him and one other accomplished fighter to kill the king. Nathaniel goes quietly and decides he’s not coming back if he can help it.

So instead of killing the young king, Nathaniel’s panic has him turn on his partner at the very last second, stopping them just before they can get to the king. He takes them somewhere far away and does what he does best, leaving no one to report back to the Moriyamas. From then on it’s a waiting game to see how long the family will wait before they send someone after him.

Day’s followed them, and Nathaniel turns around from the body and sees this man he hasn’t seen in years, alive and safe away from Evermore. It’s as elating as it is crushing - because Day heard his partner call him by name, and there is no way Day will ever let a Wesninski walk away alive. Not if he knows what’s good for all of them.

Except Day doesn’t kill him, even when Nathaniel asks him to. (Better Day than Riko, Nathaniel knew that even when they were all stuck at Evermore). Instead, he takes Nathaniel back to the twins/Wymack, gives him a little bread, and they sit until he can pry out an explanation. (See the comic of this first meeting here.)

Day and Nathaniel spend most of their time together because Day refuses to let Nathaniel out of his or Wymack’s sight until he proves not a threat to the royal family, which proves an issue because between Andrew’s rotation of personal guards (he never gets along with them well enough that they stay/aren’t fired) Day is Andrew’s guard, which sometimes means Nathaniel is stuck a lot closer than Day would like. But after a long, long time, Day and Wymack decide Nathaniel was serious about the whole “runaway” thing and isn’t playing spy (maybe there’s some dramatic event/Nathaniel protecting a twin that convinces them or maybe it’s just a lot of little things over time). Andrew, after a rough spat with the latest guard, is again in need of a new one. Finally Day just asks “is there ANYONE you could possibly pretend to get along with that can do the job” and Andrew knows Nathaniel is dangerous he just doesn’t know exactly how or why (but oh he is curious) so maybe he just straight up says. “Wesninski.” And Day has to go “…. Fine.”

So boom. They knew each other superficially before, but now Andrew and Nathaniel are spending most of their time together and miraculously - no arguments. No spats. Day thanks the gods there’s no physical altercations (that’s probably what got the last guard fired so quick). Nathaniel is just a mystery with shady ability to tell the truth and Andrew can’t help his curiosity. Good old fashioned andreil :D

From here the timeline becomes essentially nonexistent, I have no idea when these things happen in relation to each other but so far they’re all things I like and want to include!

1) there’s plenty of games and competitions at Palmetto, we love a good tussle, and Nathaniel usually does quite well - he’s not good at playing fair, but his underhanded methods are not technically illegal and usually he can use his preferred weapon - dagger rather than sword. He does well except for the one time an opponent accidentally says/does something that was constantly said or done to Nathaniel while “training” at Evermore, and he comes back to Andrew and the tent he watched from in the beginning of a panic attack. Andrew doesn’t know anything about Nathaniel’s past at this point, but he knows a panic attack when he sees one. In trying to talk him through it, Andrew realizes that yes Nathaniel is scared of being hurt, but he’s more afraid of hurting others. Nathaniel won’t let Andrew call him by name, he flinches every time Andrew says it. After, Andrew asks what he should call him instead, and Nathaniel finally asks to be called Abram.

2) Balls! Masquerades! Abram doesn’t have many outfits, he wears the regular issued uniform to every event. Andrew will not stand for this. Abram always wears clothes that cover him fully, which is fine, Andrew can work with that. He’s still seen Abram in a tight shirt or two. So he commissions one of the most knowledgeable people in the court (we’re thinking it might be Allison, she’s a noble but she’s great with textiles/embroidery/etc) and gets Abram a new outfit. It still covers him, its still protective material, but it looks better. (Find Abram in a corset here). Andrew handles it totally normal and rational in his head when he sees Abram actually wearing it of course.

3) Day probably assumes for a little while that Andrew and Abram have got a more or less normal guard/charge relationship, even thinking it’s slightly antagonistic considering this is Andrew we’re talking about. (This doesn’t fit the timeline, but here’s a mini comic of one of Day’s misunderstandings hehe)

4) king Aaron! He became king at 18/20/whatever age we decide this universe deems old enough because he is in fact the elder twin here. I imagine their parents have both been dead and gone for at least a few years at this point. Dan is Aaron’s guard and she and Abram hit it off great as coworkers and friends. More on the uncertainty of the twins backstory later. (Drawings of Aaron and his queen Katelyn here!)

5) the angst. The Moriyamas should have heard from the Wesninski boy months ago - something somewhere went wrong. So, naturally, they go to collect their property. If they get away with it, we can imagine how it goes. What I don’t know is if the twins, Day, and Wymack know for sure he was kidnapped or if they have a little nagging in the back of their head that wonders if he’s only run away from the castle or if he’s run back to Evermore with everything he’s learned.

When he’s recovered, Day doesn’t let Andrew too close too often for a while. If Abram forgets where is for even a second too long - waking up from a nightmare, having a flashback - it’s long enough for it to be fatal to whoever might get too close to Abram. It’s already almost proved fatal for Andrew, after Abram played normal so well that Andrew let it slip - he forgot Abram was taken back to Evermore for them to finish making him into a thoughtless weapon, and they’d nearly succeed. He wakes Abram too quickly and ends up extremely lucky Abram recognizes both his voice and the way Andrew didn’t call him ‘Nathaniel’ or ‘Wesninski’. There’s really a huge amount to possibly be covered about this point so I won’t go into detail here - but if you like hurt/comfort you know where to find me 👀

6) the biggest thing we haven’t figured out is Andrew. Either he was kidnapped at a young age and only recovered in his teens, or the elder King Minyard didn’t much care for his second son. Though I’ve always liked the idea of Mr. Minyard being a good man who died shortly before the twins’ birth and their mother just couldn’t handle the grief or knowing that the twins look like him. Anyway a lot of the twins’ issues after both of their parents are dead are the advisors or other people around them that try to take advantage of their youth and inexperience for their own gain, without realizing that both Aaron and Andrew have had to grow up much too fast, each for their own reasons. They can usually see right past the tricks. It’s why they both trust Wymack so much - he’s one of the few adults that are truly there to help them, and not make decisions for them.

Im sure there’s more I missed, but this is long enough as it is lol. People have asked about the Trojans/Jean in this au, and I’d love to include them! My brain’s instinctive response is that Jeremy is some sort of high end noble/royal of a faraway kingdom, and Jean (always last to leave the nest, im so sorry baby) somehow gets over there, but I don’t have an idea of his or anyone else’s roles yet. Renee could even still have a hand in him getting there if we really want.

So I’m still writing snippets and drawing over here lol but i promise I don’t bite if you want to talk :D

[gravehags]

i am the heart that you call home - the natalie edit

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x f!OC (Curator!OC)

Rating: Teen

Tags: natalie has depression, copia once again to the rescue, two awkward fucking nerds miscommunicating, RATS OHWHOOOOOAOA

Words: 2,295

Summary: Natalie's having a rough go of it. The Cardinal brings her a small guest.

a/n: i've had five (5) alcoholic beverages today so editing this took me an embarrassingly long time lmao please clap

~~~

Natalie is a downright mess.

Curled up on her side on the couch, she clutches a throw pillow to her chest and sobs into it quietly. She hasn’t left her quarters since Friday and it is currently Sunday evening. It’s been a week since she had her lovely conversation in the dining hall with Cardinal Copia and the thought makes her eyes well with tears again. She had felt so hopeful after that night, after spending time with Copia who comforted her about her loneliness. She thought that was the end of it, as if a flip was switched and her brain would suddenly be okay.

She sniffles into her pillow. If only.

The week passed and Natalie saw no familiar faces to help support her through the week. The siblings continue to largely ignore her beyond terse, but polite smiles. She’s thrown herself into her new duties - going through the late cardinal’s paperwork, trying to make sense of the rudimentary cataloging system he created - but once her work week came to an end, so did her strength. And not only was she feeling alone, but anxious and miserable. She constantly questioned whether she belonged here, whether she’s good enough to do her job and meet Sister Imperator’s exacting standards. She feels inadequate, and moreover, lost. She’s been huddled on her couch ever since, crying into the quiet room and feeling desperately lonely. Texts from faraway friends soothe her but ultimately don’t help her current problem.

And speaking of texts, Natalie’s phone buzzes from its spot on the coffee table. Throwing the pillow to the other end of the couch she reaches out to grab the device. The screen illuminates showing one text, from an unfamiliar number.

Signorina, are you well? No one has seen you for the past two days and we are worried.

Her brow furrows. Signorina…it could be anyone in the abbey in all honesty. She’s about to inquire as to who the text is from when her screen lights up again.

It is Copia.

Heart swelling, she regards the name with a deep surge of affection. Opening the message box to type, she falters for a moment. Does she tell him the truth or just brush him off? Then she remembers his earnest words from a week ago.

I want to be someone you come to when you are feeling like this, sì?

No, she thinks. It wouldn’t do to be dishonest with the one person who has truly made her feel welcome at the abbey. He deserves the truth, as embarrassing as it may be.

Hi Cardinal, thank you for checking in. Honestly, I’m actually not doing very well - having a rough time mentally and emotionally.

Natalie chews her bottom lip as she considers what she wants to type out next. What she really wants right now is company, and his nervous yet warm presence would be a balm to her soul. At the same time though…he’s a cardinal. She knows exactly how much work he has on his plate at all times - between seminars, sermons, budgeting, helping her with her task - and she finds it very unlikely he wants to spend time listening to her cry about her own simple woes. Fingers to the screen, she pecks out the next line.

Would you mind coming over? I don’t really want to be alone right now

Her thumb hovers over the send button and her stomach twists but she ultimately taps it. A horrid sense of dread settles in her belly as she watches the Seen 7:24 PM message pop up. Her phone stays painfully silent for over a minute and she holds her head in her hands, absolutely mortified. Asking a grown ass Satanic cardinal if he’ll come babysit you, she sneers at herself, how fucking embarrassing. What a silly little girl you are.

Natalie’s lip trembles pathetically and fat tears begin to roll down her cheeks when her phone lights up again.

I will be there right away. Un momento, per favore.

A horrible sound somewhere between a sigh and a loud sob escapes her when she sees his message. He’s so kind to her - too kind - and she’s so thankful for him. Brushing away the tears, she texts him back with the floor her quarters are on and sets the phone down next to her on the couch. Picking up the pillow she discarded earlier she hugs it to her chest again, resting her chin on the edge. Her breathing, ragged from crying, begins to even out as she sits there and waits.

She’s not sure how much time has passed, ten minutes maybe, when she hears a tentative knock on her door. When she stands, joints aching from being so folded up, she remembers that she looks awful. She’s wearing an oversized black t-shirt with a large graphic of Nosferatu and her plaid sleep shorts, long dark hair greasy and hanging in her face. Furtively she gives herself a sniff and recoils slightly.

“One minute!” Natalie calls as she runs to her bedroom. She hears a muffled “okie-dokie” in response and nods to herself. Grabbing her perfume bottle off the dresser she sprays herself liberally and after a quick inspection, calls it good. There’s nothing she can do further than that, she thinks as she eyes her reflection in the mirror. Deep, dark circles cast shadows under her eyes and her lips are dry and cracked. She smoothes her hair a little, trying to distract from the fact that she clearly hasn't washed it in several days, but ends up making the oiliness more pronounced. 

“Fuck it,” she murmurs as she shuts her bedroom light off and closes the door. “He’s getting warts and all.”

When she finally answers the door her heart grows three sizes upon seeing her cardinal. He’s wearing the red cassock - her favorite of the two colors - and his biretta sits slightly askew on his swept back brown hair. The dreamy smile on her face, simply pleased to see this dear man for the first time in a week, is no doubt making him uncomfortable so she clears her throat and speaks.

“Thank you,” she says quietly, “please come in.”

To Natalie’s confusion he holds up a hand and leans down to the ground behind him for something. Perplexed, she watches him as he picks up a small cage bearing a single, fat, white rat.

“Oh!” she exclaims, hands flying to her mouth. “Come in, come in, bring them in!”

Shutting the door behind the three of them, she escorts him over to her depression lair and he delicately sits down. Copia places the rat cage on her coffee table, and she sees his eyes dance over the different books she has scattered on its surface. His gaze lingers particularly on a book entitled The Origin of Satan, which makes his mustache twitch as he smiles.

“Thought I’d, you know,” she says, scratching the back of her neck, “do some cultural research.”

The two of them are silent for a moment as he looks up at her with a fond expression that makes her fidget.

“Will you not sit as well, signorina?”

“Oh!” Natalie feels stupid as she scuttles around to the other side of the couch and inelegantly plops down. Hands on his knees he angles his body to face her.

“Now please, tell me what is wrong,” he asks as the rat scratches at the cage grates in front of him.

“Oh, well,” she begins with a huff, trying to play her mood off as casual, “the usual bullshit. Feeling inadequate, like I’m not qualified or capable of doing this job. Still no one to talk to, no one to spend time with, no one even fucking acknowledges me–”

“Mi scusi,” he interrupts, “do you not speak to me? Do we not spend time together, signorina?” He sounds so put-out, so genuinely hurt, it instantly brings tears to her eyes.

“No, no, no that’s not what I meant!” she cries, “I value your companionship so much - more than I can say - but I just…I don’t want to bother you.”

The words come out in a rush and she looks away as she swipes at her tear-stained cheeks. This was a mistake.

“Natalia, may I tell you something?” he asks quietly as he toys with the cuff of his cassock. “Before you came to the abbey I had very little in the way of friends. The papas are like fratelli to me, sì, and Papa Primo practically raised me but that’s it. I was…a very lonely man until you came along, signorina. Your presence…is a breath of fresh air for this old cardinale and I…I hope I am able to call you a friend.”

Tears are slowly and steadily sliding down Natalie’s face as she reaches out to grab his hand, as he did with hers in the dining hall all those days ago. His own eyes look a little watery as he regards her and she takes a deep breath.

“I want to apologize to you, Copia,” her voice is clear and strong, these words the most sure thing she’s spoken in many days, “I want to apologize for giving you the impression that your time is not valuable to me. The evening we spent together in the dining hall was so lovely and I am so very thankful for your presence at the abbey and in my life. I would be honored to consider you a friend.”

She looks away when she sees an errant tear slip out of his green eye, still squeezing his hand. What a pair the two of them make, crying on her couch about miscommunications. The rat thinks so too and lets out a loud squeak to put its point across. For the first time in a week Natalie bursts out in loud laughter and Copia joins her.

“Eh, always must be the center of attention, huh?” he says, picking up the cage and bringing the rat eye level to his face. “I think it is about time the two of you are introduced.”

“Please,” Natalie says, using the neckline of her t-shirt to clear her face of moisture.

Gently setting it back down on the table, he opens the little cage door and the rat crawls obediently into his hands.

“This,” Copia says, bringing the creature in front of Natalie, “is Stelline.”

“Stelline,” she breathes, looking at Stelline intently as she peers back at her, nose in the air. “You’re beautiful.”

“Sì,” the cardinal laughs, “and she knows it too. Don’t you, piccola bellezza.”

Natalie swears the rat preens at his endearment, making her giggle.

“Do you want to hold her?” he asks, lifting her towards her.

She’s taken aback, but excited. “Can I?”

"Sì, naturalmente! She’s heavier than you might think so take care to cup your hands firmly, eh?”

When Copia deposits Stelline in Natalie’s outstretched hands, she slowly draws her to her chest to cradle her. She’s talking to her, complimenting her whiskers and inquisitive little nose, when Stelline puts a paw on her belly.

“She’s so sweet,” Natalie coos, “aren’t you bambino piccolo?”

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Copia smile at her use of Italian. Natalie’s picked up a few things from Terzo.

When Stelline lets out a little squeak and curls up in her palms, her heart melts and she gives Copia a gooey-eyed expression. He looks just as enamored as Natalie is.

“Now,” he says, leaning back into the couch cushions, “tell me about your week. I want to hear everything. And then I will tell you exactly why you are perfect for this job and how you belong here.”

The three of them sit like this for one hour, two hours until Copia briefly looks at his phone and nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Merda,” he hisses, “I’m on confession duty tonight,”

“Oh! I’m sorry I took up so much of your time I–”

“Do not apologize, Natalia,” Copia says sternly, making her blush. “It was time well spent. I do, eh, have to be going though.”

Gently, Natalie hands Stelline back to her father, who delicately places her in the cage and stands. Natalie follows suit and before he can say anything, before she can second-guess the action, she throws her arms around him. He’s stunned for a moment, stiff as a board as she holds her arms around his waist and presses her forehead against the red wool of his vestments. She can practically feel the deep sigh he releases as he wraps his own arms around her and embraces her in turn. Nothing is said - nothing needs to be said - as she lets the metal of his pectoral grucifix press into her. Briefly, he reaches up to caress her hair and she hums deep in her chest.

“Thank you,” Natalie whispers against him, “thank you for everything, always.”

“Naturalmente,” he says in a hushed tone, gloved hand rubbing her back softly. “Grazie mille, Natalia.”

She could stay like this forever, she thinks, locked in his embrace. When Stelline lets out another urgent squeak she reluctantly pulls back and they give each other sheepish smiles. Picking up the rat cage, she escorts him to her door and bids him goodnight. After the door snaps shut, she feels as if she’s floating. As if she’s filled with the most radiant, pure light that spreads from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. Natalie knows what it is but she doesn’t want to say it. She can’t bring her lips to form the words - not just yet anyway. It’s been years since she’s felt like this - had anything to feel like this about.

But she knows a crush when she feels one.

[scriptlgbt]

How should I go about a trans man character meeting someone with his deadname who doesn’t use the same nickname he did but almost always goes by her full name cause she likes it more?

The story is told from multiple perspectives but the girls is the main focus and the trans man’s being the second most important so her full name will be said a lot but only the trans man and the reader would have knowledge of this

Is their certain way to go about? Also would is be weird to kinda have him be enamored by her since she’s very different from what he was like and it’s the first time in a very long while where he’s actually know a person with his deadname and hasn’t just heard it in passing 

On the surface, there is nothing overtly wrong with this, but it does seem a bit weird to me.

Personally, I grew up with one of the most common names for my birth year, in the place where I was born and grew up. (In the top 15-30 names, depending how far you want to zoom out in terms of region, with it being more popular in my region.) Even now I know many people who have this name, either by choice or by gift at birth. Personally, I can't escape my given name, so I've had to process that probably more than people who have a rarer given name. But: a name is genuinely just a name.

It's not some kind of implication of any sort of alter ego. These two are different characters who, in their world, would happen to have the same name by mere coincidence. It feels like you might be writing/reading more into this than there is normally, but I guess there can be some creative poetry in that too. But I also wouldn't write a character's dead name to the reader unless it was necessary. (I'd say that an openly* trans author doing so would be an exception.)

With regards to a trans person's relationship to people who have our deadname, it can be a bit jarring at first but mostly it's just kind of normal, and not something super fixated on. However, I know so, so many people who just on principle will not date anyone with their deadname. (Out of the sample size of 6 people who I have been in a relationship with, 1 has shared my deadname, but did not generally go by it.) I also met someone who would block everyone they came across online who had their deadname, but they were very newly self-recognized as trans at the time. I find it gets more benign feeling with time.

I think maybe having a sort of meetcute where the trans man who maybe recently changed his legal name looks up when he's called for something paperwork-adjacent (maybe for Americans that would be the DMV or something?) and thus notices this other person. But I don't think this would really benefit from being emphasized beyond that.

I encourage other trans folks to reply with your thoughts though!

-mod nat

*I specify "openly" because I understand that sometimes closeted people do things that would only be socially acceptable to the wider trans community if it were known that this person was trans. While any trans person should theoretically be comfortable with this kind of thing, there are many instances of closeted writers feeling coerced out of the closet because someone tried to call them on cis privilege. If a closeted author isn't ready to come out, I'd advise against doing things which may only be seen as acceptable if it is known that you are trans. In cases where you're representing or portraying the community in some public way, it matters that the audience knows who is getting amplified. It's also true that being out (by choice or not) comes with unique danger, and we need to ensure safety of people who are out in order to ensure safety for people who are closeted.

[i-mybrunettelady]

a gravitational pull

Summary: Renira goes on a date with a very singular woman. Content warnings: sensuality/making out (M) Spoilers: None Note: Happy Lesbian visibility week! I may not be a lesbian but Ren is and I wanted to write this for ages now but just.. didn't, so here's one for a ship that could've been, but never was. Ft Babymander Nyra.

Renira doesn’t ordinarily meddle with targets that don’t concern her current mission. The Vigil, as far as her orders go, are allies and not people whose secrets she should be focused on. A secret here and there is fine, but there is a line that the agents can’t cross. Not when there’s General Soulkeeper and Warmaster Kernsson on sight as two high ranking officers. The Warmaster, maybe, if she were daring enough to attempt to spy on him again at such a time, but the General? 

She cannot risk it; not as a Lightbringer. Not when her squad relies on her in this way. 

Yet when Kernsson’s pretty apprentice starts chatting her up and asks her for a date, Renira is all too quick to agree. There is no shortage of pretty women, but there is a shortage of time. Now, after that whole business with Ajax Anvilburn is done with, she can take a break for one evening. It’s nothing serious, after all.

Then again, Renira does wonder if digging up info on your date before you even go out is standard practice for anyone who isn’t of the Whispers. Probably not. Alysannyra Ainsaph’s name has popped up here and there - starting with a file in bold, red letters called the Hero of Shaemoor. She has family here in Ebonhawke. And now, apparently, she has joined the Vigil and bears the title of Crusader. 

That’s where she makes herself stop. There need to be conversation topics. She cannot know everything in advance. 

“Nice dress, by the way,” Alysannyra says with a slight curve to the ends of her lips. “I see you’re taking cues from the locals.” She then pauses and joins her hands before her. Her lips, full and pink, are slightly parted. “I think it suits you, personally. We’d wear it belted in Rurikton, for the waist emphasis, but it looks good like this, I think. And I think the flower I chose works well with it? As if I’d known!”

Renira takes a deep breath. “Thank you,” she says and accepts the flowers - a vibrant yellow to match the pink of her dress, just as Alysannyra said - and gently holds them in her hand. Then Alysannyra offers her a hand and off on the streets of Ebonhawke they go. 

She looks good tonight. They look quite the pair, unintentionally so. The thought makes Renira smile. Nyra looks rather good in the traditional Ascalonian embroidered shirt and a jelek. The shirt is open enough to reveal her collarbones and the tightness of the vest makes her chest look pronounced. Her hair is long and loose, brushed but only barely, alternating between brown, red and blonde in the dying light of day. Her face is bare. 

Renira hasn’t seen eyes as blue in a while. Or maybe the lack of romantic attention in recent times finally reared its ugly head. While not that common, blue eyes aren’t exactly a rarity either. 

“Your hair changes color in the sunlight,” Renira says, by way of observation. Their footsteps fall in rhythm.

“Only the wisest of men know what my actual hair color is,” Nyra supplies, and lifts her eyebrows. “It has been foretold, certainly, that one who guesses it right will win my hand in marriage.” 

“Should I keep looking then?” Renira laughs. She likes the way Nyra talks. The dryness of her humor is refreshing. 

“If you like. I like to be looked at. If you guess right, you might get me to pop the question, Ascalonian style.” 

“Oh? I assume your heritage allows you for more insight on that particular topic than my few months of living here does?” Renira leans in - rather, down. Nyra’s hair smells of fresh herbs. 

Nyra lifts her head to meet her eyes. She holds her gaze. “I could show you, if you’d like,” she says. 

Renira hums. “There is time, Nyra.” She masks the extent of the excitement the response leaves in her. Nyra is a woman of the court, and she knows the art of conversation just as well as Renira does, yet not everyone acquires the charm needed to get to be as good as it can be. 

No, it’s not charm, not really. It feels like she has something of a gravitational pull that makes Renira unable to look away. The steadiness of her gaze, the warmth of her hand, scent of herbs and a hint of perfume, all coupled with her head held high, tempts Renira to bend down and kiss her then and there. When has she grown attracted to muscle on a woman? That is a new development. 

Not that she minds. 

Nyra’s smile is lopsided. “Enough time to squeeze a second date in?” 

Renira laughs. “Maybe. If I don’t make up my mind by the end of this one.” She pulls her closer. The eye contact breaks when she snakes their fingers tighter together and runs her nails over Nyra’s knuckles. “We aren’t even at the date location yet. The night is young.” 

And indeed, the sun has just set. The moon is just peeking through, an invited, observant figure to  the chatter of people and their joint hands. By the end of this, Renira thinks, she could have Nyra in her bed if she wanted to. And where would the harm be, if she has a willing participant? 

Nyra nods, pink in the face. “That is for you to decide, but in the meantime, I think a delicious meal awaits us.” 

And the food is good, admittedly, the kind both humans and charr would enjoy. Well done meat with kajmak, chopped onion that neither of them are touching, reflections of the bright yellow flower in the little rakija bottles. Turns out Nyra isn’t a fan of it. She takes one sip, swallows like a battleworn hero she is, and places it down with all the grace of a woman of the court. Renira downs hers in one chug. Nyra lifts a brow, as if impressed. 

And maybe alcohol did lower their inhibitions, but they’re kissing in a dimly lit street later, with Nyra on the tips of her toes and her hands around Renira’s shoulders. She’s a good kisser, it turns out. 

“Billiard rooms,” Nyra explains in between kisses. It’s a rather silly high society excuse to stare at people’s asses and steal a kiss. 

Renira slides her hands down and squeezes Nyra’s ass. She doesn’t need any overpriced rooms. “Were there any bets?” she asks, curiously. A part of her laughs, almost; is she as cocky as someone like Nyra can afford to be, to place a bet to be the best she’s ever kissed? She doesn’t voice it. 

There are many things she hasn’t been able to afford herself. There’s something so very aristocratic about the way Nyra carries herself, the way she grabs attention and stamps her seal all over it. Even now, red in the face, with lips darkened by kissing and lipstick, she knows she looks good, she knows the world should be watching her. 

Arrogance, Renira thinks. Arrogance that’s hardly ever faced a pushback. Arrogance that makes her want to fuck her against that very wall, in this very street. What a luxurious thing. 

“Nothing that went beyond tongues,” Nyra replies after a thought. “My parents have always been of the old, Ascalonian cut.” 

Renira tilts her head and licks at Nyra’s lower lip. “And you?” 

Nyra looks visibly distracted for a moment. “I’ve never been to Ebonhawke before,” she says. “Is that good enough?” 

“More than enough.” Enough to write in your file later. Tastes divine, is hardly in touch with where her parents came from. Looking to reconnect. Doesn’t care about the way things are done here. She places a kiss on her jaw. Nyra’s nails dig into Renira’s skin. She then kisses lower, to her exposed neck. 

Then, she then feels Nyra’s hands pushing her face away from her neck. Just as Renira was about to ask to leave her a little bite. Rude, she thinks and smiles. You arrogant, rude, sexy aristocrat. You just need to be in charge. Did the world see that? Or do you keep these things to yourself?

“I know a place where we can have more privacy,” Nyra says in a voice that doesn’t invite questioning. A command wrapped in a statement, and the quietness of the tone doesn’t take anything away from its force. She slides her hand down so it rests on Renira’s hip. “It’s not that far away. Come.” 

She then takes Renira’s hand and goes down the street, lipstick stains on her face and neck be damned. She walks like it all belongs to her, like she’s the queen of the fucking world, with her head held high. Without shame. Arrogant. 

Not arrogant. Proud. 

It takes Renira a lot to fall in love, but maybe this is a closer thing. Or maybe it’s the rakija, and the kissing, and the moon whispering in her ear, and the Ebonhawke and its pressing history and its proud descendant that’s holding her hand. 

Whatever it is, Renira slides into the night with her. 

It is, after all, a call she can’t say no to. 

[photo1030]

Leather and Lace - I’ll Be Home For Christmas

Summary:  Its Christmas time and Arthur has been out in the cold, missing for several days 

Warnings:  A bit of swearing; but very tooth-decay sweet (sorry)

A/N:  I was inspired by the other Christmas / seasonal stories and images that I’ve seen so I wanted to try it for myself. *I crunched this out pretty quick, compared to my usual schedule, to meet the “deadline” so this may not be my best work. (For those following my current storyline, this one is out-of-sequence due to it being Christmas time, but it does go with it)

*This AMAZING image is not mine. This comes from @randomscreenshotsworld​

This image was a major influence on the storyline, so I thank you!!

It’s been a few days and the gang hasn’t heard from Arthur or John. With everyone tucked up in the mountains in the snow, Arthur and John went out for supplies. Local law has recently started collaborating with Pinkertons, and with enforcement creeping closer, Dutch feared getting cut off and surrounded. So before the Van der Linde gang could get trapped, Dutch pushed you all North. He figured with the coming winter, most people would head South, and hoped to find less densely populated areas for everyone to lay low and regroup.

The feeling in the air is low. Everyone is cold. Everyone is tired. Everyone is hungry. And, it is Christmas time.

Charles, Arthur and John had scouted ahead and found an abandoned house up in the foothills. Partially buried in the snow, it was large enough to house the group, along with some smaller cabins on the grounds. If you had to guess, it was a working farm at one time with the main house for the previous owner and the other buildings were the workers' quarters and/or various processing buildings. And by the looks of it, whoever lived here just up and left, maybe moved west.

The main house was solid, protecting all of you from the elements. Fires were lit in the fireplaces throughout the house, desperate to keep the cold at bay. After you had all arrived and Ms. Grimshaw had begun the process of setting up a secure camp, Arthur took John back out to scavenge for food, medicine, blankets, or anything to help stock up on needed supplies, while leaving Charles with the rest of you. His reasoning was that Charles is the best hunter of the group. Should something happen to either him or John, at least you all would have Charles to help provide. Plus, if Arthur himself isn't going to be in camp, he only feels safe leaving you with either John or Charles to look after you.

Your nerves are on edge with Arthur being gone so long. He is usually only gone a day or so in inclement weather, and its been two days already. The snow and winds are picking up fiercely and one cannot be out in these harsh elements for too long. Even someone as strong and capable as Arthur. But you try your best not to look too worried, for Abigail is in the same situation with John gone, too. And, she has little Jack to try to reassure as well. So in an effort to distract yourself, as well as the Marstons, you decide to try to make things more cheerful in your new location. It is Christmas time afterall. You, the girls, and Jack work to make Christmas decorations for the old house. Digging about within the house, you collect what few things you can find to work with, as well as your current supplies. You make colorful paper garlands and cut snowflakes and string them about the rooms. You bring in pine boughs and pine cones from outside to decorate the windows and fireplace mantles, placing candles about, glittering with their soft and inviting glow. Even Ms. Grimshaw is helping out. Her job is to take care of the camp, and she has made making the new homestead cozy and comfortable her top priority.

"Hey, I see something out there," says Javier, who is sitting on watch by the window. You and Abigail rush to the window as well, pressing against Javier's back to try to see what he sees. You all see a figure approaching, but only one. Its John. Javier and Charles rush out of the house and into the cold to help John stable his horse and carry what provisions he has with him. When he gets into the house, it is obvious that John is quite happy to have made it back. He's half frozen, but the good news is that he has a sack of food with him. "Thank God you're OK!" exclaims Abigail, elated for once to see the man. "Yeah, I'm alright. Freezin' as all hell, though. We got any coffee on?" John asks hopefully, looking over her shoulder to see if he can spot the coffeepot on the fire as he rubs his gloved hands together before blowing his warm breath into them in a futile effort to defrost his fingers.

"Where's Arthur?" you ask John, your voice laced with concern when you look around desperately and its apparent that John came in alone.

"We split up," says John, turning to face you in the small group that has gathered around him now. "We came down through the pass just as the weather picked up. Arthur thought we should cover more ground since we were losing time with the storm rolling in harder. So at the fork, I went right and Arthur went left," and he motions with his hands to reiterate. "I haven't seen him since we split, but I'm sure he’s fine," dismisses John with a wave of his hand, not paying attention to how your eyes shoot wide open in shock. The thought that Arthur was wandering out the cold by himself was almost too much to handle.

"What the hell is the matter with you two idiots?" asks Hosea, exasperated. "How are you supposed to be watchin' each other's backs if you're goin' two totally different directions?!"

"Don't get on his ass," huffs Dutch. "He came back with food, didn't he?" poses Dutch, pointing at John.

"Yeah, and without Arthur!" you interject, trying not to panic.

"Arthur is fine," Dutch says, trying to speak calmly, as he can see your nervousness starting to get the better of you. "He always is."

"I'm sure he's fine," you say, taking a deep breath and trying to remain calm, "but you don't know that for certain." You stare at Dutch, silently pleading for him to do something other than stand there. When Dutch simply stares back at you defiantly, you've made up your mind. "To hell with this, I'm going to look for him," you mutter, turning towards the door.

"No, you're not," Dutch warns as he walks after you.

"Like hell I'm not!" you snap over your shoulder.

"Like hell you are!" Dutch argues, his voice getting louder and moving to put himself between you and the main door. "'Cause the minute you leave here, five minutes later he'll be walkin' through that door!" he gestures with his thumb. "And if he sees you're gone, or you get your ass in trouble, or something happens to you, I'd never hear the end of it. I'll tie you to a God damned chair if I have to!"  

You hesitate and lock eyes with the man before you. This plan doesn’t sit well with you at all, but with the weather, you know he's right. Your shoulders slump just a bit in resignation as you reluctantly give in to reason over your heart. "I can't just sit here and do nothing, Dutch", you say with a broken voice.

Sighing, "That's where you're wrong, (Y/N)," Dutch replies, his tone softer now and filled with sympathy for you. "'Cause that's exactly what you're going to do." He can be a cold man, but Dutch is fond of you and can appreciate the love between you and Arthur, as it reminds him of himself and his once beloved Annabelle.

"I'll go," offers Charles, stepping over to you and Dutch.

You turn your tear-glistening eyes to Charles, overcome with surprise and appreciation. "You will?" The robust man gives you a nod, placing his hand on your arm in consolation.

"What, so you can get lost, too?" pipes up Micah from the corner with a wave of his hand. "You're all crazy."

Dutch looks from Micah to Charles, raising his eyebrows with an expectant look. Micah has a point. Charles sighs, just ever-so-slightly. "I'll go out for an hour or so, see if I can find his tracks. If I pick up on him, I'll track him down. If I can't find a trace of him in a few hours, I'll head back. Fair?" he asks Dutch, to which the older man simply nods in agreement. He may be a rotten criminal, but to be honest, the idea of his adopted son lost in the frozen snow didn't sit to well with him, either. And he steps aside and let’s Charles out the door.

After a few hours, everyone hears the door rattle. Charles returns, but still no Arthur. When the burly man comes through the door, he instantly catches your eyes on him, but quickly averts his gaze in guilt. You slowly, quietly walk over to him with a blanket in your arms, ready to throw it around his broad, proud shoulders. "Sorry, (Y/N)," Charles says quietly. "I tried. I did. But I didn't see anything, not a sign." You say nothing, but simply nod in understanding. If anyone was going to find Arthur, it would be the best hunter/tracker in the gang. And even he couldn't do it. So unfortunately, all that you could do is sit and wait.

---------------------------------------

The next day is Christmas Eve. You've hardly slept all night as you see the first signs of the sunrise emerge on the horizon. You've been up sitting at the window, watching for Arthur and making sure a lantern was lit so that he could see a beacon through the snow, something to push forward to. You have an extra blanket at the ready, an endless pot of hot coffee and the fire stoked all night, waiting to welcome Arthur back into the warmth. Your mind raced all night with images of what kind of medical attention he would need and you wanted to be ready for it.

The snowstorm has stopped by the morning, yet you still sit at the window, staring out into the grey, hoping and waiting for some sign of your beloved. Morning carries into the afternoon, yet still no sign of Arthur. John and Charles both went out again for a few hours in vain to look, but to no avail, as the snow has begun to kick-up yet again as the afternoon falls.

Then suddenly, as your eyes continue to search through the frosted glass of the windowpane, you see that familiar shadow slowly lumbering through the snow. It is the unmistakable blue coat of Arthur's, lit by the lantern in his hand, and his huge, sturdy horse, Buck. Your eyes flutter to hold back your tears of relief. "Oh, thank God," you gasp in relief as you immediately jump up, throwing open the door. You dart out of the house, pulling your coat around you as you run. "Arthur!" you can't help but to holler to him across the yard. Arthur has finally returned and nothing else matters at this point in time. As soon as he recognizes you, a smile spreads across his tired and wind-chapped face. He’s frozen, that's for sure. Snow and ice is caked into his beard and his coat is plastered with white, but he is alive and in one piece. You run as fast as the powdered snow will allow and as soon as you're close enough to touch him, you throw yourself into his chest, hugging him tightly.

"What are you doin' out here in the cold," he chuckles into you hair as he deeply inhales your familiar scent like its his home, his arms folding you up against his chest. You can't even form the words to reply, as you are so overcome with relief. Hearing nothing but your sniffles in response to his question makes him pause and take in the state that you are in. 'Of course, she was worried', he thinks to himself. 'Damn fool, you keep forgettin' that.' “Hey, now, don’t be gettin' yourself all worked up over me. I’m alright," he insists, stroking your hair with his gloved fingers. "But if this is the kind of welcome I get, though, maybe I’ll stay out more often,” he teases.

Finally, you are able to get your mind together with Arthur's gruff voice ringing in your ears and pull back from him enough to look up at him. “You do and I’ll wrap my arms around your neck for a different reason than keeping you warm!," you half-heartedly threaten with a grin. You take a moment to take in his face, those features that you have been so desperate to lay your eyes on again. "Where have you been?!" you ask as you cup his face in your hands.

Arthur's chest rumbles with a faint chuckle, a gleam in his eye. "Oh, you can blame this big fella." He releases his grasp on you to turn to pat the hind-quarter of the 8-point buck draped across the rump of his horse. "John and I split up to cover more ground. I wasn't coming up with anything on my end, and then finally I saw this deer here. Had him in my sights, but couldn't bring him down. I tracked him, but he kept leading me further and further out." Arthur shakes his head as he recalls the last three days over again in his head. "I wasn’t about to let this meal get away from me, though," he grins at you. "A buck this size will feed all a'us for a few days. And I swear he knew I was comin’, too."

"Maybe he could smell you," jokes John as he and Charles have come out to greet Arthur and to help carry the carcass in. Arthur chuckles and nods at the joke at his expense. "Yeah, maybe."

"Glad to see you made back in one piece, brother." John claps him on the shoulder. "Yeah, same to you, John," replies Arthur warmly. For all their arguing and fussing, both men are happy to see the other safe and sound again.

"Come on," you say softly, tugging on Arthur's arm to pull him towards the house. "Let Charles handle the deer, and John can take care of Buck for you. Let's get you inside and by the fire. You probably can't even feel your feet by now." You smile up at him warmly and Arthur sinks into your care without resistance, as it is all he's been thinking of since he left, something to keep him pushing forward in the cold.

"Hell, I can't even feel my knees!" he jokes as he lets you lead him back to the house.

Charles brings the deer in under the overhang next to the house and quickly begins to skin and gut the animal. He cuts pieces of meat off the deer and brings them to Mr. Pearson who has already started to prepare food for Christmas Eve dinner. While Charles busies himself with the deer, you get Arthur into the house where its safe and warm. Upon entering, everyone greets Arthur, happy to see him return. After the initial round of "hello's", "what happened?", and hugs, Arthur takes a moment from all of the excitement to look around, noticing all of the decorations, and is pleasantly surprised by the cheerful atmosphere. "Wow, will you look at all this!" he says impressed. "Looks like you all been busy while I was out.".

"Just hush and get yourself over to that fire, would ya?" scolds Hosea, pointing at a stool by the fireplace with one hand, while pushing Arthur's shoulder with the other, ushering him in that direction.

As Arthur shuffles over to the hearth, your eyes begin to tear up as you watch him warm himself by the fire. You can't believe you are actually looking at him right now. You are scared to admit it, but you were having serious doubts if you would ever see him alive again. Noticing you sniffling and discreetly holding your hand over your mouth, he turns to you, his eyebrows knit together in concern. "Hey, now, what's this all about?" You just shake your head at him with a weak smile and wave him off, unable to speak. You are so overwhelmed by the relief to have him home again. He reaches out his strong arm to you as you walk over to him. "Come on, no, I told you I'm fine," he tries to reassure you again softly as he puts a hand on each of your arms, rubbing them slightly in an effort to offer you some comfort. All you can do is nod, looking down at his feet. He feels so bad for making you worry so. He lays a hand along your cheek, lifting your face up so he can see your glistening eyes. "Look, we can't have tears on Christmas, now. That just wouldn't be right."  And Arthur gives you that smirk of his, that one that you can't help but love.

As the evening carries on, everyone is getting along and there is little complaining. The room is comfortably warm with the large fire going, thanks to the firewood that Javier and Bill gathered. Soon enough, tonight's Christmas feast is served. With warm feet, full bellies, and everyone accounted for, there is much to be happy for. Everyone spends the evening eating, singing, and playing card games and dominoes. Some are snuggling up to each other by the fire. Even Micah is being pleasant and joins in on the festivities. With dinner finished and cleared, you suddenly ask for everyone's attention and announce that you have Christmas gifts for all. You disappear to one of the back rooms and emerge with a sack that is bulging with its contents. With a huge smile, you begin to hand out all of the items that you have spent months preparing for tonight. Among the gifts are:

Socks for Bill, a scarf for Lenny, a new red neckerchief for Micah; you commissioned a knife to be made for Javier, made your own arrows for Charles (made after he showed you how to do it); a new teapot for Hosea, a book for Dutch, a gilded hand-mirror for Molly, a writing pen for Mary Beth, a broach for Ms Grimshaw, new combs for Tilly, and mittens for Uncle. A hand-knit a shawl for Abigail, a new leather saddlebag for John and, of course, wooden toys for Jack, who is just so excited that he begins to play with the pieces instantly. Plus a few other items for everyone else as well.

"I’ve been working on this since August! A little at a time, but I managed to do it," you say proudly as you stand next to a seated Arthur whose arm is wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him. "Do you know how hard it’s been to keep this all under wraps?"

"Is that why we’ve been lugging around that extra trunk with the lock on it?" Arthur asks, looking up at you, suddenly putting the pieces together in his mind. "Yep!" you quip with a huge smile. You look around the room, watching everyone enjoy their new gift, and you are so happy to be able to bring just a little joy to your fellow family members.

With everyone else taken care of, you finally turn towards your beloved. You give him a sly smile and an arched eye-brow as you reach down and take him by the hand, your smaller fingers lacing with his much larger ones. "Come with me," you say softly and you pull him up from the chair he's sitting in and head towards the door. Donning your coats, you take Arthur outside as the snow starts to fall again, but this time, its gentle and airy, not blowing and harsh like its been for the past few days. It’s dark out now, but the moon is full, casting a bright silvery light to dance upon the snow which shines and sparkles like billions of tiny diamonds. Its actually quite peaceful and beautiful, now.

"I haven’t forgotten about you," you say as you stop and turn to face him. "I’ve saved the best for last," a look of mischief upon your soft face. You reach down and take hold of his wrist, lifting it up to his chest level and open his hand to set a drawstring bag into his palm. Arthur gives you a quizzical look before he lets his fingers fumble with the soft fabric. He opens the little pouch and pulls out a silver disc.  

“A pocket watch?” he asks with a smile as he flips it around in his hand to admire the fine filigree etching that adorns its smooth surface.

"Open it," you reply simply, tilting your chin towards his hand slightly. He clicks open the item, pushing down on the top button to pop open the little door and sees the arrow and unmistakable markers of the cardinal directions. "It’s a compass," he confirms with a nod, his grin widening even more. (The irony of him holding a compass after being lost in the cold for the past three days isn't lost on him.)

"I know you lost yours in that poker game awhile back," you say, thinking back to a few months ago. "I tried to think of the perfect gift for my tireless wanderer." You cast your gaze from the compass in his hand to his beautiful blue eyes that catch the moonlight just so. "You know," as you lay your hands on his wrists as he holds the item between both sets of his calloused fingers, "The thing about a compass is, it doesn’t tell you where you are. It tells you where you’re going. So no matter where you are, Arthur, I hope you will always find your way back to me."

Arthur takes in your words and looks from the compass to your face. His heart swells so much he thinks it will burst. "I…I don’t know what to say." He is quiet for a moment, overwhelmed by your gesture. "I love you so, so much, (Y/N)." There is a tight knot in his throat, swollen with emotion. He holds your face with his large hand, his warm palm heating your chilled cheek. "But…I didn’t get you anything," he says, suddenly realizing it and feeling guilty.

"Says who?" you smirk. You reach your hands up to pull the collar of his coat up closer to his red cheeks to keep him warm. "You made it home alive and in one piece today. And all I want, all I’ve ever wanted, is you." Your large doe-eyes look up at him with such devotion that despite his ever-lingering self-doubt, Arthur can't help but to know your statement to be true. "In fact, I had a little chat with Dutch and told him that we’ll be “indisposed” for the next 48 hours." Your hands leave Arthur's wrists and snake their way around his torso and link together behind his back. When you do so, he brings his own arms around your shoulders to pull you in even tighter together. "So if you really want to give me a Christmas gift, Arthur Morgan, you will come with me into that cabin over there (tilting your head over towards one of the side buildings on the property that already has a fire glowing in the windows) and just... be with me, and only me." Secretly you can’t wait to see his reaction to how you've decorated your little nest for the two of you.

"I think I can do that," he confirms, touching his forehead to yours before pulling back again just enough to meet your gaze. "But I still don’t see how you’re making out on that deal," he jokes.

You smile and lift up on your toes to kiss his lips ever to gently. "Then I guess you’ll just have to improvise and think of something.”

You stand there together in the snow looking at each other, drinking each other in with mutually adoring eyes. You observe the fat snowflakes catch on each other's eye lashes and cheekbones, neither saying anything for a bit and risk ruining this perfect moment of contentment.

"Merry Christmas, Arthur."

"Merry Christmas, (Y/N)."

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 3x9 Thoughts

This one might be tied for favorite episode of the season for me. While I’ve been mostly willing to vibe with the jam-packed episodes, I approached 3x9 with a bit of concern; if it felt like the story was getting bigger instead of smaller here in the final third of the season, I was going to start to lose my patience. (To translate: I am an impatient person but I'm also a pretty long-fused person, and me starting to lose my patience would be akin to someone with a short fuse going fucking ham on someone.) Luckily, I felt like each thread here spoke to the other threads really neatly, like watching a cohesive conversation take place in multiple rooms. Magically. 

For this one, I'm gonna attempt some bullets that cover 3x9 itself, then I need to attempt to process this weird experience of MISSING TED (while also basically appreciating what he's doing, but missing him, but appreciating him, lawjefpawoijfapweoijafwepklajwef) that has me very :eyesemoji: about the next three weeks of my life.

Nate’s desire for connection and camaraderie didn’t overshadow his ability to recognize that Rupert was trying to manipulate him into a toxic night out! There will be consequences for pulling away, and he knows it, but he did the right thing anyway. I’ve seen some discussions and arguments re: Jade’s influence on Nate and whether we should attribute Nate’s backbone and ability to make better choices to the love of a woman, and whether that’s disappointing and belittling to both characters, but I think a lot of those positions (on either side) are too hard-and-fast. Nate has always valued the things he values, and his relationship with Jade hasn’t changed his values or the fundamental truth of who he is. At the same time, being physically and emotionally close to a person you trust feels really, really good. Why shouldn’t those good feelings have a positive impact on the reserves of strength you must draw on to do things like stand up to an evil asshole you hadn’t entirely let yourself notice is an evil asshole? Nate in all his multitudes has always been Nate; Nate who is in love is able to see himself more clearly. If we were all only allowed in our real lives to experience character growth purely independently, we wouldn’t get very far.

I’ve been thinking a lot about influence and obligation when it comes to Rebecca’s storyline, too. I was a little afraid, after 3x3 and the way she initially responds to Tish’s prophecies, that Rebecca would end up a lone actor, in a sense, tracking down clues and answers at the expense of fostering her actual existing relationships. While I’m still curious and nervous and excited about what all of it means, I really appreciate that Rebecca has shown up for people this season, especially here in the latter half. Rebecca is almost certainly being driven a little crazy by the unfinished parts of what Tish told her, but she isn’t isolating herself. In calling Roy out for his avoidant behaviors and lack of accountability for the press conference (and, of course, the way his work performance mirrors his decision to leave his relationship with Keeley), she demonstrates accountability as a boss and as a friend. I don’t need to see Rebecca conducting meetings or writing emails to know she’s working, but it felt really important to me to see her get upset with Roy, both professionally and personally, and break through his exterior. Ted, Trent, Phoebe, and even Keeley have chipped away at it this season, but the epiphany required Rebecca being Rebecca. And the energy between Rebecca and Roy is very !!!

I loved the way the Nate-Rupert-Jade, Rebecca-Roy, and Roy-Isaac(-Will!) interactions all reinforce the idea that no one has the full picture of what is happening in another person’s brain, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t act on truths as they are revealed, as difficult as it may be. 

As a queer person who is thankfully many years removed from the most stressful coming-out experiences I’ve had (although of course there are still plenty of moments of having to explain or identify oneself to another person—it never really ends—I consider myself “out” in that everyone in my life who I care about knowing knows I’m queer, and, so long as general safety is established, I feel able to explain it to additional people in most contexts without much or any stress), I really loved and appreciated Colin’s storyline here. Very little about my identity or place in the world resembles Colins, but so much of this episode resonated. We’ve already seen Colin describe his relationship to his sexual identity to Trent, and within that same conversation he spoke about not wanting to be a spokesperson with the pressure of publicly representing gay men. I absolutely love that the framing of the locker room scene respected those desires; he tells his teammates and coaches he’s gay, but we the public aren’t part of the several seconds that the literal announcement occurs. We get to see the freedom and relief the truth brings him, but the lessons of this episode are for the people around him. 

The downside of writing this a couple days after the episode airs means I’ve read a lot of discourse, but I don’t think this episode did a disservice to Isaac or Colin. The writers room in s3 included writers specifically experientially equipped to tell this story, and to me, it shows. It shows in the realism of Isaac’s well-meaning questions (which Colin wouldn’t have answered so graciously if Isaac wasn’t so genuinely curious and caring!), and the tiring ways that queer people are burdened with conversational “obligations” and explanations that are just different than what straight people deal with. Ignorance and awareness exist on an incredibly long spectrum, and for me this story was affirming, not traumatizing, beautiful, and yet it also included the exhausting imperfections that cloak even the most positive coming-out experiences. 

I’ve also been thinking a lot about Ted’s speech. Basically ever since Colin said the thing about Grindr in s2, I’ve been certain Colin would come out as gay to the team and reckon with being closeted in the context of the men’s Premier League. And literally since he made that little comment, I’ve been nervous about how Ted would react. I already knew he was a politically progressive person who identified himself as an ally, so I wasn’t afraid he’d have some kind of bigoted rejection reaction. But I did worry that his reaction would be sooooo cringe and try-hard and awkward that I’d legitimately run into issues writing and posting fiction about his obvious latent bisexuality on our home away from home, Archive of Our Own. And while Ted’s seven-layer-dip Denver Broncos analogy WAS cringe and try-hard and off-base, I absolutely loved how unflinchingly imperfect it was and how, despite those imperfections, his instinct re: the point he actually wanted to make was spot on and extremely valuable. If a white, middle-aged, (past-tense-ish hahahahahahaha I’m so normal about the word “was”) straight man who’s worked in sports his whole life had figured out the perfect thing to say, I’d have rolled my eyes at the screen. It felt realistic to me that he desperately wanted to find an analogy or connection point, immediately regretted it, and still—because of who he is when the din of his thoughts gives way actual clarity—managed to articulate that it’s very, very important that Colin’s community actually cares about who Colin is and that he was able to share this information with them. It’s the difference, in many ways, between being doomed to continue to feel like you have two lives (because you’re surrounded every day by people who look past something important to you or pretend not to see the differences) vs. knowing that even if you never come out to the entire world, you aren’t splintering yourself because you’re able to be your whole self around the people who actually matter. Anyway, the speech was imperfect and unwieldy, and that was the point, and his actual message was essential for everyone in that room to hear, and that was the point, and I will be capable of continuing to write fic in which Ted is attracted to men without his reaction to Colin haunting me. (I actually already have an idea for a future fic in which he reflects more, but that’s literally a story for another time.)

At this point in the season, I feel so curious about, um. What is happening. With Ted Lasso. The guy. In both s1 and s2, I felt about a millimeter away from him at all times, even when he wasn’t onscreen. This season, he’s so intentionally obscured. Getting to go to that museum in Amsterdam with him—and, perhaps even more importantly, the Yankee Doodle Burger Barn, and perhaps even more importantly than that, the back of that bus—was a relief and a reconnection point that was much needed, but I am absolutely FASCINATED and MYSTIFIED at this point in time at just how effective and maddening it is that I’m having a lot of trouble understanding how he truly feels about himself and the people around him. Like, I would obviously love to watch him be in love with Rebecca. But I would also love to watch him be in love with a place, or with two places, or with coaching, or with his partially-lost Beard, or with the words and images that have come to him in visions, or even with the unhealthy things that pull at him, like booze and stewing and obsession. Basically every episode—at least for me—contains some glimmer of connection, to his self or to one of his friends, and it’s always fleeting, and I’m holding onto the almost certainty of the fact that the decisions he has to make are going to require some kind of visible reckoning. Most of my nerves about the final three episodes of this show as we know it are related to these questions. 

As for this episode, I don’t think I’ve quite captured the FEELINGS I felt while watching it. (I also completely failed to go into Ted sharing his biscuits with Keeley and continuing his perfect streak of making it super weird whenever he shares biscuits with a non-Rebecca person. I LOVED IT.) This was the episode that made me the most audibly squeal-y this season. And the most curious about how Ted has managed to get so far into his own brain that I actually miss him on his own show! Very curious stuff. What are the next three Tuesdays going to do to my brain and heart?

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hello!! i hope you’re having a good day!! I would like to ask for a BG3 matchup, please!! To make it easier for you, I’ve added anything that might be necessary here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-9dv4INxKsRYGLfZR22P7dUNY6gNqXnzEklxj_uxbhw/edit

A/N: Lol, I feel you w/ the undercut thing. If I let all my natural hair grow out, it would be its own situation every morning lol. Because you didn’t specify gender preference, I picked one male and female companion for you. 

For you, Google Doc Anon, I think you’d match best with Astarion (Male) and Lae'zel (Female)!

➶ Astarion is an independent person as well. Before he was turned he was a magistrate, a corrupt independent player who was very influential in getting what he wanted done. Of course, after being changed by Cazador, he lost all of his influence but managed to retain his aloofness and ambition. After getting a taste of freedom following 200 years of servitude, he’s insanely stubborn, and very vocal when it comes to voicing his displeasure about doing things. He makes it clear that he’s capable, but his capability is very intertwined with how much he wants to do something, similar to you. He finds such behavior to make sense and has absolutely no problems defending your thought process to anyone who complains. 

Granted, due to your shorter stature, he may not take you seriously upon first meeting you (he does make a fair amount of gnome jokes in game), but once he gets to know you, that all changes. He actually really likes your height difference because it makes him feel all the more  (dominant lol) in charge for once. And he loves, loves, loves your hair! He can’t see his hair in the mirror, but he likes to imagine it looks as cool as yours. He might even ask for your help dying his hair- of course, you’d have to try the colors first so he could see how they’d look on you before he’d dare try putting them on him, but that’s half the fun, right? 

Astarion enjoys the arts. Back as a magistrate, he’d frequent the theater and art shows, get the best-tailored clothes with the fanciest embroidery- anything that crossed art over with luxury, oh boy was he down. He wouldn’t ask you outright, he has his pride, but please please study him and draw him. He hasn’t seen his appearance in so long, and being able to see it through your gifted eyes would be such a marvelous treat. He trusts your craftsmanship 100%. 

And he understands your need for alone time. He, despite putting on a good show for everyone, is very drained after a day of ‘performing’. He needs time alone with you, just the two of you being quiet in order to recharge. He also tends to get a bit snippy when overwhelmed emotionally- which makes sense given his history. So don’t fret, he won’t take it personally if you yell or snap at him because you’re feeling overwhelmed so long as you don’t hold it against him when he occasionally does the same. 

And while he may be pompous at times, in most cases, it’s because he does have the skills to back it up. All the other times however, it’s good he has you to knock him down a peg, and get him to come back down to reality. You let him know he doesn't have to put on a show for you, he doesn't have to pretend. You love him just as he is. And he loves you just as you are. 

💥 Lae’zel is a great match for you because both of you are pragmatic, and disciplined people who do what it takes to accomplish their goals. As you said, you’re an INTP. INTPs tend to search for truth and accuracy, checking situations from multiple logical angles before proceeding. This is very much in tune with several Githyanki principles. However, unlike people who do not take you seriously due to your appearance, Lae’zel takes you as you are, at face value, so long as you’ve proven yourself worthy in your fields, your outer appearance is of no importance to her. 

She is much more focused on battle- the art of fighting. So she is very new to many of the artistic expressions you introduce her to. But if you put a lot of time and effort into your work, she appreciates it, not necessarily for how it turns out, but for the dedication you put into it. She also appreciates how instinctively smart you are. Intelligence is a sign of a worthy ally. 

She too, is not a fan of large groups, preferring to work by herself or with a few she really trusts. You, of course, are someone she trusts explicitly, so to have you around her doesn’t irritate her the way strangers do. In fact, she seeks out your company as a way to destress from the strife working with strangers causes her. 

She understands the need to separate work and social life now that she’s started developing a social life of her own. She respects your boundaries when you ask for time alone to work and does not worry about your loyalty or intentions. 

You are hers. You have said as much. And she is yours. She has said as much. No amount of time spent apart could possibly change that.